Help! Need advice. Married, old flame back in life
This is my 1st time posting. I need some advice or maybe to vent/confess because there is no one I can talk to about this.
I currently married. My marriage is tough. We argue and have very little sex, about every 1-3 weeks and sometimes my wife shows very little interest. We are going through some tough times. I have been laid off, my wife and I are going to school and have a few kids.
So here is the deal. Many years ago I had this big crush on someone. She was in a bad relationship. We fooled around and flirted a lot. When it finally ended she was somewhat fragile. A new guy came into our circle of friends. Her other best friend convinced her I was bad for her and she should hook up with the new guy. He was/is mentally unstable and alcoholic. She ended up getting pregnant so they got married and moved away.
I ended up hooking up with one of her bests friends, got married, had kids. We have both had rough marriages. Her husband now wants a divorce and she is back in town. She is my wife's best friend. I have since gotten over her and when we hang out I barely talked to her. I still find her extremely attractive though. Recently at a party she admitted that she wish we hooked up and has been wanting me for the past 9 years. We were pretty intoxicated.
I was blown away! Am I supposed to be happy or flattered she has been thinking of me and wanting to be with me this whole time? I am still strongly attracted to her. Later she began crying and saying that everything is messed up now. We are both married and have kids. We did kiss several times when my wife wasn't around. (I know I'm an ass). Her sister was there and told me separately that she has been wanting me badly this whole time.
Now I have all these conflicted emotions. I do love my wife but our relationship has been strained over the past several years. I have almost left on several occasions. I have a high sex drive and it is also hard rarely getting any at home. I have cheated once before and promised never to do it again. I cannot leave my kids because I love them sooo much. If I do cheat my wife would be devastated. Not only would she be betrayed by me her husband but also by her best friend she has known since childhood. She has described her as her soulmate. The attraction is very strong between me and the friend and always has been. Now I am trying to avoid the situation but feel being drawn toward it. This is one woman that I have always wanted. The one who got away. Apparently she feels the same about me. Even though nothing is going on I feel very emotionally conflicted. It felt so good holding and kissing her but we are both adults that are married and have children. What should I do? I try to live my life with no regrets but I feel if I turn my back I will regret never "being" with the one woman I have always wanted.
Is cheating an option? I don't want to do it especially because she is so close to my wife.
Do I reject her? My marriage usually sucks and the only reason I stay is because I love my children very much.
The other problem is is that because she is so close to my wife they are always talking and hanging out, sometimes our kids hang out and play together.
Any advice or comments are welcome.
Last edited by Franklin; 07-18-2009 at 03:00 AM.