General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
I am hoping you might help me with what action I can take.
Background: We live in a small town. Last week a boy from my daughter's middle school hung himself. My daughter knew him but was not a close friend of his. Last week, another boy from her school lost his mom when a truck hit her while on her bike. His sister is in critical condition. He lost his dad 6 years ago to cancer. My daughter has been pretty shaken by these events.
Her friend: She hangs around with approx. 10 kids (guys/girls) going to movies, roller skating, etc. and one of the boys IM'd her last night. He said his mom and stepdad don't want him anymore and called his dad. He said his dad will take his sister but cannot afford to take him as well. He said his dad doesn't really like him anyway. He said they are sending him to Australia in 3 weeks. At that point, he told my daughter he plans to kill himself within the next 3 weeks.
He did not discuss how he will do this or when, but I definitely want to intervene I am just not sure who to call/what to do. I do not know him/his family myself so at this point I only know what he has told my daughter and bless her heart for coming to me as I know she does not want to go against his wishes of secrecy but we've talked about this before being an exception.
What I don't want to do is make things worse for him since I do not know the dynamics of his family and what is going on (he tells my daughter his mom is crazy, but again all I know is from his talks with her.) Any ideas of how to handle this would be GREATLY appreciated.
Thanks. My first thought was the police, CPS...the only reason I haven't yet is that I wasn't sure that was the right route...I don't want to do something that ends up the boy says he was just joking, etc. so his mom doesn't get mad and the police leave because there is nothing they can do...
This happened late last night and I definitely do not want to wait to take action...just want to make sure it's the best action to take to get the right people involved that will help him.
I have been in that state of mind myself a few times (I know you have too dcrim) so I did ask her if he talked about when and how he plans to do it, and he did not give her any specifics which was a good sign but I still want to intervene ASAP....that will happen today...just trying to make sure the police is the right help to get him.
Believe me, I don't think it's a joke. I think he feels helpless and unloved and sees no other way out of his situation. And that a good friend of his did this last week tells me he is seriously considering it.
I'll start with the police right now and hopefully that will be the right route.
I contacted the police. The problem now is I only have a first/last name and neighborhood...they cannot find his address -- probably under his step-dad's name. My daughter is trying to contact friends to get an address.
you have done the right thing at least they will seek him out and he can get the correct help he needs !! just would love so much to give him a hug !! poor lad
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LOVING THE CHAOS THAT SURROUNDS MY LIFE
Sad. Another product of a broken marriage. This is another example as to why we need to continue to work hard at marriage when children are involved and not take the sometimes easier route of divorce.
HD...I know...and I'm sure my daughter will give him one for you next time she sees him...if he doesn't get too mad at her for spilling the beans. Just trying to get address info for him so was going through her school stuff and found his yearbook picture...just brings tears to my eyes...cute boy...she says he's the smiley type but not lately
John ~ If what this boy is saying is accurate, sounds like broken parents...it all sounds very foreign and confusing to me if true...divorce or not, how does a parent abandon their 13yo kid? It's beyond my comprehension.
Thanks for the consistent 'call the police' advice. I was able to find the address and followed up with them. I am glad they wasted no time in getting over there. I'm not sure how things went when they got there but in either case there was enough concern for his safety at that point and he has been transported. My daughter is worried about him, about him being angry with her, but feels better that he will now get some support and help.
I appreciate you all stepping in to help me on this one!
GOOD, Swedish! I'm so glad they/you found him! It IS good for him! Even with his limited years. He can now get the help he needs!
With younger people, they just don't know how life can be. It may hurt, it may be joyfull. But until you've been there you cannot know what you're missing!
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It ain't illegal until you're caught!
Update-13yo daughter's friend threatening suicide
