07-20-2009, 02:26 PM
Join Date: Jan 2009
| | Re: Need help/strength giving wife her space while we go through counseling
Best advice is to be distant, but available. Makes sense, huh?
Don't ask her questions, or the "how am I doing" stuff. Don't bring up any of your problems or concerns for the time being. But if she asks things of you, be there and be supportive and be open and honest. If in therapy, they'll get to your side eventually and she will bring it to you.
Be polite, give pleases and thank yous, and things like that, but don't be too gushy, etc.
Give her an "I love you" every once in a while, but don't make it too much. Give her compliments only in a situation in which it would be normal and appropriate to give. Too many compliments and weird times, especially in a situation like this, make the compliments seem empty. If she get's dressed up for something (work, going out, whatever) simply tell her she looks very pretty. Don't start telling her how pretty she is when she first wakes up in the morning with her eyes half shut and her hair all over the place.
But yeah, overall, just try to be normal for right now. Try sticking to what you would normally do. And let her come to you if she needs to.