Re: What's Wrong with You: Your a 40+ Married Man with 2 Kids
Well, I've learned what a nice guy really is. Definitely, some really not some nice things go along with being the type of nice guy I am because I have expected to be rewarded for my service and deeds to my wife's happiness. I've put my own interests aside thinking that by being available more she would be more appreciative of me. Since she is gone so often, I gave up my time for activites, just to be around her and the kids during the time she is home, but we really didn't have much quality time together, maybe watching TV shows or something. It isn't selfish to have my have needs and to express them to my wife. It's okay to express my opinions to my wife without fear of rejection or worrying that I will upset her and make her unhappy. I learned that I have to take responsiblity for my life and my own personal happiness. While my wife and children are important of me, I cannot give up my personal identify for them. Right now, my wife still loves me, but she doesn't have much trust or confidence in me. She still has resentments that she needs to let go of in order to forgive me. She has started therapy to work on forgiveness and to address other personal issues she has. Ultimately, I believe I will be be able to stand stall and looking in the mirror and be proud of myself. Once my wife see's that I am following through and making long-term changes I believe that her attitude will change towards me and that our relationship will improve. However, even it our relationship doesn't improve, I will have because I will have become a more complete and happier person for coming face to face with my fears and insecurities and realizing that I can rise above them; That I don't need to be anyone but myself in order to be loved by my wife or anyone else. That I can live without my wife's presence in my life and that there other women in the world that would be happy and accept the way that I am.