I have been unhappy for years with my wife. I know she is good for me and we can do alot together, but what she did to me does not go away. She lied to me about everything "everything" we were dating and told me the truth after we married. She lied about her culture, about her ex, and family. This is what happend
During our dating period (1 year) she was still talking to her exboyfriend (first 3m). Well one night he called my phone with hers (first 3 m). Well that did not go over well.
While dating I asked her if anything happend that night and she ensured me that no they were there to talk. Ok whatever I did not believe her, but went with trust. A few months later she is pregent (around 6m). Things where great about 5 months into the pregentancy she had a misscarried. Comes to find out that there was a STD that made this happen. "Clymida"
Ok, I asked again what happend that night because I know something is wrong with this story. No nothing happend. Could have caught it from something our had it before. Ok, It was not me because I had myself checked before we hooked up. Again trust.
We married about 8 months later. 2 years go by and she tells me that she is not what she told me (italy and South American) Just Italian. Nothing to bad, but was really upset that she lied to me. She then goes to tell me that she lied to me about the numbe of men she's been with. Ok I can deal, I know that normal for females.
Maybe another 2 years go by and while talking she says that on that night she did have sex with her exboyfriend. She did not mean to tell me it came out. This rocked my world. All I can say is that I have not been the same since. I have tired and tired to forgive, as I have but the hole in my heart is there. I know it with out a doubt. It has not been the same since. I love this woman but when I am made this comes out. I have this emptyness when I get upset and I know it hurts her. I don't want to end this but I want to be happy in life. I am not happy with this. This hurt is over powering at times and I can not get away from it. Again I know she is good for me, over the years she has not done anything to hurt me but the lies of the past.
Also she or we have not had any kids, and not from the lack of trying. Something happend after that miscarriage. And I hate her for that. I want kids but I love her.
I really need to talk to someone about this. I think I am going to go get consuling. I just want to be happy in life.
During our dating period (1 year) she was still talking to her exboyfriend (first 3m). Well one night he called my phone with hers (first 3 m). Well that did not go over well.
While dating I asked her if anything happend that night and she ensured me that no they were there to talk. Ok whatever I did not believe her, but went with trust. A few months later she is pregent (around 6m). Things where great about 5 months into the pregentancy she had a misscarried. Comes to find out that there was a STD that made this happen. "Clymida"
Ok, I asked again what happend that night because I know something is wrong with this story. No nothing happend. Could have caught it from something our had it before. Ok, It was not me because I had myself checked before we hooked up. Again trust.
We married about 8 months later. 2 years go by and she tells me that she is not what she told me (italy and South American) Just Italian. Nothing to bad, but was really upset that she lied to me. She then goes to tell me that she lied to me about the numbe of men she's been with. Ok I can deal, I know that normal for females.
Maybe another 2 years go by and while talking she says that on that night she did have sex with her exboyfriend. She did not mean to tell me it came out. This rocked my world. All I can say is that I have not been the same since. I have tired and tired to forgive, as I have but the hole in my heart is there. I know it with out a doubt. It has not been the same since. I love this woman but when I am made this comes out. I have this emptyness when I get upset and I know it hurts her. I don't want to end this but I want to be happy in life. I am not happy with this. This hurt is over powering at times and I can not get away from it. Again I know she is good for me, over the years she has not done anything to hurt me but the lies of the past.
Also she or we have not had any kids, and not from the lack of trying. Something happend after that miscarriage. And I hate her for that. I want kids but I love her.
I really need to talk to someone about this. I think I am going to go get consuling. I just want to be happy in life.