Okay I want to start off here by saying yes i no i was wrong very wrong and probably could never make it right! I have been with the same wonderful guy for the past 7 years, we have a beautiful 3 yr old boy together. Last year I cheated on him and we decided to work through it, and we did, everything was going great until i did it again. I dont no what the hell i was thinking, i have messed up so bad again. im at risk of loosing my family and everything that comes with it. I want him to know how much i love him because i really do. i no you all are going to say YEA RIGHT, then why the heck did you do it again. To be honest and i no its not an excuse or anything but i was really drunk and hardly remember my actions. i know it happened tho, thats why i told my guy the very next day. he doesnt deserve this at all, he is great dad, man, lover, friend anyone can ask for. The Question is WHAT DO I DO TO MAKE IT BETTER??? We have talked long and hard and cried together for days. He doesnt want me to go, He says he loves me and he wants to work it out for our family. But i have no idea how i can make this up to him, if roles were reversed and he did this to me, i wouldnt be able to even look at him, and i dont understand why he still wants me around. ANY ADVICE ON HOW TO HANDLE THIS WOULD BE GREAT.
P.S. I KNOW I MESSED UP BIG TIME. 2 TIMES. IM A CRAPPY PERSON, HE DESERVES WAY BETTER THEN ME AND I KNOW THAT. I FEEL GUILTY STAYING HERE, LIKE I SHOULD BE KICKED OUT AND HURT JUST AS BAD AS I HURT HIM, BUT HE WANTS ME TO STAY. SO SHOULD I? IM AFRAID TO HURT HIM AGAIN. HE IS TO GREAT!
Number one would be stop drinking.
Number two, stop going out without your H.
Number three, if you really want this to work, you are going to have to figure out why you self sabotage, all by yourself.
Maybe, after demonstrating all of the above for a decent period of time, your H might consider opening his heart to you once again. But until then, you are just whining and complaining. Actions speak louder than words and this is one of those times when actions have to take place over and over again.
I feel bad for your kid and your husband. I see it like this. If he forgives you, you will just do it again. If he doesn't, your kid will have a broken home. Black out drunk with your 3 year old kid and husband at home? Cheated on him twice in a year? Seriously?
For the sake of your child and the future happiness of your husband, leave. You don't have to get divorced. Just leave, dry out, get yourself straight and don't come back to the family until you do. He does deserve better. Your child deserves better. You're not just now at risk of losing your family. You've been risking that for well over a year. You risked it every time you chatted up one of these guys. You risked it when you decided to go somewhere without your husband and get drunk with other guys. Maybe you were drunk when the sex took place but you were sober when you went there. You chose to go. You chose to get drunk and you had a pretty good idea what would happen. The alcohol is no excuse. Figure out what's more important to you. Your husband and daughter or whatever you're getting out of partying with other guys. The only way you make this better is clean out whatever cobwebs are in your head that make you cheat. If you slap a bandaid on this and play house again for a few weeks, you'll be back to your old tricks very soon. Maybe your daddy didn't play with you enough. I don't know. Whatever it is, take your time and get it fixed for real and for good before you go home. If you don't you will hurt him again and only a lunatic would keep a three time cheater. It's pretty amazing he's even talking to you at this point.
Stop with the excuses and blameshifting. You are responsible for your actions. You chose to put yourself in these situations. I agree with the others. Stop choosing to put yourself in situations that lead to shytty behavior. If you drink... do so with your hubby at home. I see no reason why you should be doing so outside of the house and away for your man.
"Feelings get you in relationships quickly, and feelings get you out of relationships quickly. Feelings do not fill in the for the sacrifice and dedication needed to make a relationship work. Feelings get themselves hurt." ~Nsweet~ Ignorance is an equal opportunity employer.~DedicatedDad~
Thanks everyone for the advice, i will use it, and make this better and start living the sober life. I need this, my Family needs this, and most of all I want to make things right and not be this ****ty person i have become. Thank you all for the honest truth, i really needed it!
Five frogs are sitting on a log. Four decide to jump off. How many are left? Still 5 frogs because there’s a difference between deciding and doing.
To get what you want, take action!
I agree with every reply... grow up and stay home bake cookies look after your child and your man and if your are really lucky the Trust may return but you HAVE to earn it....
Once is bad beyond words but twice is self destructive..... and if your relationship lives through it you are very lucky...
Actions speak louder than words. You don't love him as much as you claim you do. *Am I OK with losing this person if I cheat and get caught?*
That's what people ask themselves consciously or subconsciously before they do dirt. If they proceed, no matter the circumstances, that answer is YES.
Once I'd say work things out. TWICE and either you really don't care for him as much as you say OR you're not cut out for monogamy.
Many people aren't. It's not a crime. But don't go on trying to fool yourself or hurting him.