Fallen for a man thirteen years younger than me.
I'm 35. He's 22. I've been divorced for four years. I met my ex-husband when I was 16 and we were married when we were 23. The first few years of our marriage were bliss but as we reached our thirties, things became very stale. What finally put the nail in the coffin was the fact that he committed adultery with one of my so called closest friends.
It took me almost two years to get over the trauma of the divorce. I was on meds and therapy. I finally got over all the things that happened and was happy again. However, I had no intention of getting involved with another man at all. There was no physical nor emotional desire for me to do so, until I met a particular young man.
He's an African-American (I'm Caucasian) man who is in his last year of college. He's studying English Literature. I met him through a friend of mine - she's his lecturer. When I first met him I was immediately attracted to him. I know this is kind of playing up to the African-American stereotype, but the first time I saw him was at a college basketball game and his display of gruff physicality and explosive athleticism incited a physical desire I thought had died within me a long time ago.
He's an aspiring writer and my friend (his lecturer) has always raved about his short stories. I'm an avid reader so I read a few of his stories and was blown away by his talent. This led to a dialogue between us through email, where I got to know him more and the more I heard the more I liked. We ended up meeting for lunch as a casual encounter and we both really enjoyed ourselves. We had so much chemistry and loved a lot of the same things. Then we went on an unofficial date. And another one. And another one. This eventually culminated in us sleeping together.
In the beginning the physical side of our relationship was the most profound. To be honest I loved having sex with him. But as time passed, as I got to know him more, I became to really adore the person he is deep down. He's the most wonderful man I've ever met - he's caring, funny, highly intelligent, sweet and very romantic. We've been seeing each other for six months now and I've fallen head over heels for him. He also told me he's fallen head over heels for me, too.
The reason I'm posting this on this site is because the future between us is unclear. I mean, he's only 22. He's barely lived. He has his whole life ahead of him. He's graduating from college in the summer and a new adventure will begin for him. Whereas I'm approaching middle-age. We're two people going in two different directions and I'm terrified because I feel the age gap between us won't be able to survive the reality that is before us.
In a way I wish I never met him, because even though the last 8 months have been some of the happiest in my entire life, I can't stand the thought of what I know is going to happen.
Can anyone offer any advice or input on the situation? It will be greatly appreciated.