What is considered sexual abuse in a marriage??
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Old 03-27-2013, 08:01 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default What is considered sexual abuse in a marriage??

What is your defination of sexual abuse in a marrige.

If a spouse demands sex every single day from you and you are not willing...............and the consequences of this if you do not are horrible...........is that considered sexual abuse??
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Old 03-27-2013, 08:02 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is considered sexual abuse in a marriage??

Yes.
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Old 03-27-2013, 08:03 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is considered sexual abuse in a marriage??

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Originally Posted by roddie123 View Post
What is your defination of sexual abuse in a marrige.

If a spouse demands sex every single day from you and you are not willing...............and the consequences of this if you do not are horrible...........is that considered sexual abuse??
The word "demands" sounds like abuse right there.

Can you tell us what the consequences are if you do not have sex?
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Old 03-27-2013, 08:08 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is considered sexual abuse in a marriage??

Sounds like it?
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Old 03-27-2013, 08:18 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is considered sexual abuse in a marriage??

Alright, you sure set this up to be abuse by your husband. Is it really the case that you are a loving wife and he is a jerk, or is there some middle ground here.

I remember years my wife used with holding sex as a punishment. He is punishing you for punishing him?

Obviously, I don't know the true dynamics.....

What are the horrible consequences?
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Old 03-27-2013, 08:20 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is considered sexual abuse in a marriage??

Can you provide more detail and information about your situation OP?
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Old 03-27-2013, 08:32 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is considered sexual abuse in a marriage??

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Originally Posted by roddie123 View Post
What is your defination of sexual abuse in a marrige.

If a spouse demands sex every single day from you and you are not willing...............and the consequences of this if you do not are horrible...........is that considered sexual abuse??
Define horrible? On this scale of 1 to 10 what would it be?

10 = physically beating you
5 = giving you the silent treatment
1 = refusing to wait on you hand and foot


"Demanding" is also a pretty loaded word. It can mean anything from an ultimatum to a polite request. Can you be more specific?
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Old 03-27-2013, 08:46 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is considered sexual abuse in a marriage??

Sexual relationships should have no demands or horrible consequences.
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Old 03-27-2013, 08:50 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Sexual relationships should have no demands or horrible consequences.
So, if a couple haven't had sexual relations in a year (not due to any physical problems, but just because she doesn't want to), and the husband demands they start having sex again or there will be the horrible consequence of a divorce, is he 100% wrong?
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Old 03-27-2013, 08:54 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is considered sexual abuse in a marriage??

How often are you interested in having sex? We only know he wants it daily and you've declined.

How long has it been since you've had sex?

Is your relationship good otherwise?
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Old 03-27-2013, 08:56 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is considered sexual abuse in a marriage??

Quote:
Originally Posted by roddie123 View Post
What is your defination of sexual abuse in a marrige.

If a spouse demands sex every single day from you and you are not willing...............and the consequences of this if you do not are horrible...........is that considered sexual abuse??
This is a bit tricky.

Abuse can be defined as any treatment outside of what is normally accepted, designed to humiliate or coerce someone.

One spouse " demands " sex everyday, the other is not willing.
He begins to issue threats.
In short, it sounds abusive to me.
There must be an alternative way to work out this issue.
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Old 03-27-2013, 08:59 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is considered sexual abuse in a marriage??

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Originally Posted by roddie123 View Post
If a spouse demands sex every single day...
Does this mean:

1) He is demanding that you actually have intercourse everyday.

2) He demands sex and you turn him down; the next day he demands sex and you turn him down, the next day he demands sex and you turn him down; the next day... In other words, are you not having sex at all, and he keeps asking for it every day?

Quote:
...and you are not willing
Does this mean:

1) You are not willing to have sex every day (but you would be OK with with having sex less frequently, say twice a week).

2) You are not willing to have sex period.

Quote:
...and the consequences of this if you do not are horrible
You need to be more specific here. Divorce is a horrible consequence, but that doesn't mean it isn't also an appropriate consequence at times also.

Quote:
...is that considered sexual abuse??
It would depend on the answers to the above questions. If you are refusing to ever have sex with your husband, then there is sexual abuse going on, but he isn't the one comiting it.
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Old 03-27-2013, 09:02 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is considered sexual abuse in a marriage??

To the OP, I hope you come back and answer some of these questions, cause good grief! As of right now we do not know if you are not giving him sex and he is angry and making there be horrible consequences, or if you are giving him sex and just not everyday and he is still angry and giving you horrible consequences, but either way it sounds like some issues need to be addressed for sure.
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Old 03-27-2013, 09:08 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is considered sexual abuse in a marriage??

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Originally Posted by Blue Firefly View Post
So, if a couple haven't had sexual relations in a year (not due to any physical problems, but just because she doesn't want to), and the husband demands they start having sex again or there will be the horrible consequence of a divorce, is he 100% wrong?
Yes and its sick too.Why would anyone even WANT to have sex with a person you knew they did NOT want to but only complied after a demand under a threat?

I have no issue with the person saying I do not want to stay married to a person for the rest of my life that doesn't WANT to have sex with me.You do not WANT to have sex with me so I am getting a divorce.

But saying HAVE sex with me regardless if its against your true wishes or ELSE!Is 100% wrong.And I cant imagine what kind of sex that would be.Having sex with an otherwise unwilling person who only complied under coercion is depressing and I cant imagine it being fullfilling even on the physical end.Not 100% anyway.Where would you draw the line?Moan and act like you like it or else I will get a divorce?Have an orgasm or else I will get a divorce?
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Old 03-27-2013, 09:13 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: What is considered sexual abuse in a marriage??

Abuse of any kind is never ok regardless of what the situation may or may not be.
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