a dream, an ex, a tshirt

greenbaglady · 02-01-2008, 02:46 PM

just to keep everything short and to the point so its not a novel.

ive been married 5 years.

im happy, we're happy. i think we could be a little closer but work and a death in the family has kind of put US on the back burner.

which is why i may have had a dream about my first love last night--well, honestly ive had a dream about my exboyfriend/high school sweetheart at least one night every week for several months/years.

i got curious and scoped out my ex-s facebook (i know stalkerish right?) i found him he was last on 1/30. i sent him a message i kept it short and sweet.
'hello. its nice to see you. i hope alls well in your world. dont be a stranger. best...me'

i noticed in his pictures (which aren't dated or tagged) a picture of him in a tshirt that use to be mine :-o (impossible to be anyone elses it has unique markings lol its mine) i have a feeling this picture is only a couple months old. the weird thing is i didn't give him that shirt-i think he took it/borrowed it when we were just "friends" in college, but didn't tell me.

There was another picture of him and a girl. She was cute, sweet. My sister says she's a girl he's been with for over a year at least.

I noticed his status says hes engaged.

Then for some reason I got this overwhelming feeling of sad

He looks so happy in that picture of him and the girl. But he's wearing my shirt.

Does he know that's mine?

Why am I so sad?

I should be happy for him--he was a "trouble maker" after he and i sort of "broke it off" in college. He drank, he did drugs

It appears he cleaned up his act. He looks healthy and sweet the way I remember him in these new pictures.

I need to get over this asap. it's so wrong.

I'm married.

But I'm jealous.

I really hope he writes me--he use to go months w/o signing in to his facebook this is the most recent date he's signed in. I have left him one or 2 other hellos once last summer, and last spring--he didn't come back to his page for months after i wrote that--i dont think he ever read them but I'm not sure.

What's wrong with me

draconis · 02-02-2008, 01:02 AM

I would use caution, becuase if the situation was reversed and your hubby was looking up old flames you might feel jealous, specially knowing he tried to contact them.

draconis

debrajean · 02-02-2008, 05:19 PM

Should you continue communicating with your ex...no. It's one big set-up for heartbreak. You're in a working and happy relationship, do not blow it by contacting your ex any longer. He's moved on and so have you. There is no hidden message in the t-shirt, it's just a shirt to him. Men aren't that attached to clothing.

Get you and your husband off the back burner and put it front and center where it belongs.

sarahdale24 · 02-03-2008, 01:25 AM

with getting you and your husband off the back burner. YOU are what's most important right now. Also, I would stop scoping out your ex, he has moved on as should you. However, I understand your sadness as I have been there myself. EXACTLY how you described it actually. But, IF you want your marriage to work, concentrate on "US" and not your ex.

ronnieswifey1120 · 02-09-2008, 01:53 AM

I sometimes think of a guy I used to date before I married my husband. I especially think of him when my husband and I get into big arguments. I consider my "ex" the one I let go. I think I'll always wonder about him, but I know that what I have now is what's best for me.

I've had to cut ties with this guy because my husband found out we were still in contact and it upset him. I told him I just wanted to be friends, but knew deep down inside there were lingering feelings. "ERICK" (for confidentiality) has a girlfriend who he cares for, yet disclosed to me that I was better and he'd leave her for me in a heart beat. That really started stirring up old feelings. I had to sit down and figure out the pros and cons of talking to "ERICK." In the end, my husband means more to me than finding out "what could have been."

Your ex is in your past for a reason. He was meant to come into your life to teach you one thing, and then leave. He wasn't meant to stay forever. Kind of like a season.

MySpaceTV Videos: Madea by I LOVE FOOTBALL! Div-1

That link is to a video clip on MySpace of Tyler Perry's play "Madea Goes to Jail." In that particular scene, she explains people who are meant to be in your life for only a season. She also elaborates on how people in your life are like a tree. Some people are leaves. They wind blows them one way and then another, making them unstable. They are just there to take from the tree, being you, and they tend to give shade from time to time. Then there are the branches who are the people you think are gonna be there for you but the minute you step on them, they'll prove to be useless and leave you. Then there are the roots of the tree. There aren't many roots, but the roots that are there support you and keep you grounded. Consider your husband to be one of those roots.

If things with you and your husband are going well, why would you want to mess with a good thing? I think about that with my husband. Sure, he can be insecure and a bit demanding, but he does so much for our family and our future that I couldn't see myself leaving him out of curiosity. You may think you can do better but sometimes better isn't always best. It's okay to wonder about your ex from time to time, but I wouldn't push communicating with him very much.

I hope my advice helps the least bit. I hope you watch the video because it'll make you feel better regardless! Take care and good luck!!!

MyKidsMom · 02-13-2008, 12:48 PM

Oh my god I loved that video, I watched the whole thing. It brought a smile to my face.

I also wanted to say thanks for the great read you guys it was wonderful.

sarahdale24 · 02-19-2008, 04:33 PM

The Video was GREAT! I'm so gonna so put it on my myspace profile. Do you mind if I add your description of the video??