General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
My wife and I got in to a serious fight tonight and I need your help. Any opinions on what happened and what I should do is appreciated.
This is what happened. We got a merchandise credit from a store for about $70. We used it to buy something for about $20 and the cashier gave us another slip for $70. We didn't pay much attention to this. We went back another time to use it and this time the store system rejected the slip. They said it was improperly done. My wife asked them to check it again. I asked her quietly if we should tell them about the previous purchase, but she said that we don't need to. The store checked their records and found we had used the earlier one and that the cashier hau d improperly given us a new one with the same amount as before, instead of the correct amount. The refused to honor it by saying they didn't know how much was on it. My wife and the manager got into an argument. I suggested we go home and see if we can find the earlier receipt. In the end, the manager relented, and tracked down the value of the receipt using customer service. We wife was not at all happy with me. This was last weekend.
Today, we were talking about what happened, and I said that when their system had trouble with the slip, we should have told them about it. My wife said why, it's up to them to find out. I told her, well, the manager might think you are trying to cheat them because we didn't tell them about it. She said 'Oh, now you think I'm a cheat. What a jerk!' and walked away.
The situation is very bad. Please advice or comment.
Well there might be an underlining problem here only surfaced by a confrontation. Obviously your looking at it with morals. She seems to have no problem trying to get more then she was supposed to.. Is there money problems in your life??? That she needs to try and cheat the store?? I know my wife wouldn't have a problem with doing that being its tight here. Me working for retail have had no desire to do that..
I think there is a difference in level of accountability between you and your wife. You feel as if it's the right thing to do to do the right thing, and she feels like getting what she can for nothing is the best deal in the world. It's a difference in morals, ethics, and accountability.
You won't convince her to change her mentality anymore than you will convince yourself that it's ok to not be honest.
I was married to someone who didn't have any personal accountability, and this exact type of things cause a huge wedge between us until he began to lie to me so badly that he created an entirely separate life.
It was the stores mistake so they should suck up the 20 dollars.
and you should apologize to her and let her go alone so your there for her to call when she gets thrown in jail
so you can bail her out.... thats a partnership !!!
your wife was trying to be savy, I could see my wife, being your wife in this situation and me being you...same thing, She would try and get the "extra" $20, I would have told them the truth...
I agree this is a stupid fight, suck it up and tell your wife she is not a cheat and that it is really no big deal.
Next time she does that, dismiss yourself and go to the sporting good section, let her look like a arse by herself, that is what I do...I trell my wife when she is done call me, I want no part of it.
married 12 years, we have different "quirks" for what we chose to battle over.
Remember Women's "math"....go to store that has 50% sale, buys $400 worth of stuff....Comes home and shows you...You say, "You spent $400???" she replies, " but honey it was on sale, I SAVED YOU $400, it would have been $800, what a great deal!" ....men...spent $400...women SAVED $400....
that my friend is womam math...get used to it, especially if you have a wife that brings home a fat paycheck...you just bite your tongue and say, "Honey that is a lovely dress!" ...
I believe you both knew it was dishonest, but the real issue is that you had a huge fight about it. I think many people, myself included, would not correct a cashier error if it was in our favor. Do all those people deserve to be called a cheat, or get thrown in jail? NO! I get reminded of all my customer service disputes from my husband all the time. It illustrates that I like to fight for justice, and my husband likes give in and take the easy way out. It could be a reflection of how we handle our other marriage problems.
your wife was trying to be savy, I could see my wife, being your wife in this situation and me being you...same thing, She would try and get the "extra" $20, I would have told them the truth...
I agree this is a stupid fight, suck it up and tell your wife she is not a cheat and that it is really no big deal.
Next time she does that, dismiss yourself and go to the sporting good section, let her look like a arse by herself, that is what I do...I trell my wife when she is done call me, I want no part of it.
married 12 years, we have different "quirks" for what we chose to battle over.
Remember Women's "math"....go to store that has 50% sale, buys $400 worth of stuff....Comes home and shows you...You say, "You spent $400???" she replies, " but honey it was on sale, I SAVED YOU $400, it would have been $800, what a great deal!" ....men...spent $400...women SAVED $400....
that my friend is womam math...get used to it, especially if you have a wife that brings home a fat paycheck...you just bite your tongue and say, "Honey that is a lovely dress!" ...
I agree with the ignore part. Too many other issues in life to have conflict with then this. Life will get much more complicated. Save those for the really important ones..
Maybe your wife was embarassed? How were the two of you discussing the situation while at the store, in front of the manager and employees? Could it be that she felt you made her look like a jerk in front of them?
I think there has to be more to it, for it to become the source of a huge fight.
We didn't fight at the store.
My wife is very sensitive. She is very deeply upset about the situation, and specially about how she thinks I think about her. I'm now trying to calm the situation down by showing a lot of affection and stuff.
The whole thing seems like a minor deal to have a big blow up over, but I guess it brought a bunch of disagreements to the fore.
I just hope this blows over in a few days.
Serious fight - need help 
