I AM DESPERATE, I don't know what to do! - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-03-2013, 04:52 PM Thread Starter
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I AM DESPERATE, I don't know what to do!

Hi I'm new to this forum, I,ve been married for 7 years and together we have 3 kids. My husband has lost a significant amount of weight over the last coule of years and has gotten more serious with his mma career. I've been feeling a disconnection from ur relationship for some time now and it all reached to a head when I looked at his twitter account yesterday his username is _______ and saw him talking to girls about dreaming about them and other things. He says that I am suffocating him and that if I don't trust him that he's done with me. I feel that I am in the right to be mad at him especially when he does things like lock his phone and twitter account and has other secret aol accounts. I am a housewife so. I basically depend on him for everything, which I am I the process of chAnging this fall when all my kids are in sChool. My mother in law says that I should stop asking him where he is going all the time that eventually hell come running back to me wondering why I'm not bothering him.im really confused and I don't know what to do. Does anybody have any suggestions or advice?

Last edited by 827Aug; 04-04-2013 at 09:32 AM. Reason: removed name
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-03-2013, 06:07 PM
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Re: I AM DESPERATE, I don't know what to do!

He sounds very conceded. Concerned with only himself. Why would you want to be with someone who has so little empathy for you, his wife.

Sounds like an OZ Guido. Those day are long gone. A real man doesn't treat women like that. How old is he?

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." T.R.

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Last edited by anchorwatch; 04-03-2013 at 06:26 PM.
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-03-2013, 06:24 PM
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Re: I AM DESPERATE, I don't know what to do!

Him hiding things and not allowing you access to his social media accounts would be major red flags to me. If he really wants you to trust him then why is he so secretive? If he truly has nothing to hide then he should stop hiding stuff. If he is telling other women that he is dreaming about them and thinking about them that IMO is a betrayal to you. What married person dreams about and fantasizes about other people? The kind that wants something more than an online relationship with them. If you want to play it safe, find a job and become self sufficient. Even if that means enlisting the help of family, yours or even his. There are some threads on here that can help you catch him if he is doing something wrong. Key loggers and such. Your mother in law is wrong, you have every right to know where your husband is. What if you have an emergency with one of your children? How would you get a hold of him. That is ridiculous, it sounds like she is taking his side. And what about you, do you get time away from the kids? Or is that reserved for him and you're not even supposed to know about it?
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-03-2013, 07:09 PM Thread Starter
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Re: I AM DESPERATE, I don't know what to do!

im 29 and he is 31 . we both gained a lot of weight after we got married and had the kids and we met, had our first child and got married within less than a year. he has lost almost all his weight and i'm still struggling to lose mine, because i'm with my kids all the time especially my son who is special needs and cant walk, talk, feed himself, etc. he had tried to help me in the past with giving me advice about diet, exercise, because he is in the process of becoming a mma coach as well and hes on his way to becoming a pro fighter. he says that i am mad because he had bettered his life and lost the weight and that i haven't. he says that i need to better my life and be happy with himself or i can never be happy with him. he has tried to encourage me to go out with friends and family but it isn't as easy for me as with him, because my son is on a strict ketogenic eating schedule and my husband has no clue how to feed him. my mil says that she went through something similar with her husband and that the ask nothing approach worked for her, and that she wants us to work it out and that if i need a babysitter so i can go out with friends that she will do it. and as far as going out the only time i go out on a date is if i nag him. he goes to atlantic city and other far places for fights but for me to hitch a ride with him to a park where hes going to go for a run anyways is an inconvenience. he says that the girls that he talks to dont even live around here so what does it mattter if its just talk. i asked him if i did the same wouldnt it bother him and he said no because he trusts me. im getting conflicting advice from family and friends and i feel that its my fault because ive let myslelf go and im not that sexpot that would do it with him several times a day everyday before we had kids. And hes always critiquing that he thinks im faking orgasms because i dont have them the way other girls have.
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-03-2013, 07:55 PM
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Re: I AM DESPERATE, I don't know what to do!

He has upped his sex rank and now he's getting side action. Are you okay with that?
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-04-2013, 09:20 AM
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Re: I AM DESPERATE, I don't know what to do!

Stop feeling like you're the only one who can take care of your son. Its ridiculous that your husband has no idea how to feed his own child! He is trying to encourage you and you keep making excuses. Stop the excuses and take him up on his offers to help!
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 04-04-2013, 09:25 AM
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Re: I AM DESPERATE, I don't know what to do!

You've given away far too much personal information in your first post. Delete your husband's user name, and you may want to delete where you live as well.
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