My wife and I have been married for ten months. She wants sex at least once a weekday and three to four times a day on the weekend. Once we did it six times on a Saturday and when I didn't want it for the seventh time she got angry.
I love my wife deeply. She is awesome on every level. However, We are both 39 and I am challenged to muster up energy on any sexual activity past the third time in one day.
She equates sexual activity to love and becomes sad, sleepless and angry when I simply sleep in lieu of sex after a long day.
Does anyone have any thoughts or any experience in this situation?
It must be frustrating indeed. Sounds a bit immature on her part too. Surely there can be a reasonable solution to this dilemma? If every other aspect of the relationship is good, then with good communication maybe things will work themselves out.
It may just be the newness of the marriage has her all worked up. Was she this way before you were married 10 months ago?
When I first read this, I thought WOW! I'd love to see my wife with a drive that better matched up with mine. But...when your wife is looking to it 4 - 6 times on Sat and Sun...even I start thinking that may be excessive. And I have a high drive and would love to do 2 a days, every day. Actually, if you do end up doing it twice a day, every day, she would still get 14 times/wk - and you guys are probably closer to 13 - 16 times/week. Can you "compromise" and ask her to do it first in the morning and right before bed every day instead of trying to bang it out 4 - 6 times on Sat and Sun?
Ok, I really don't have anything beneficial to add here, but I'm just curious...how is your wife able to walk???
At first glance, it sounds like it would be awesome to get laid, literally, on a constant basis. But I feel the actuality of it would be painful and hellish.
However, you did say something I can relate to:
"She equates sexual activity to love and becomes sad, sleepless and angry when I simply sleep in lieu of sex after a long day."
I was the same way with drunk sex when I first started dating my husband...after a college stint in ****tiness, I got so used to having crazy drunk sex that when my husband couldn't get it up after hours at the bar, it turned into a huge fight and I'd get soooo mad. In retrospect, it's pretty dumb, but it was a big deal to me at the time.
Sounds like you'll need some counseling and your wife may have either a sex addiction, as mentioned, or some extremely deep rooted insecurity/self esteem problems.
I actually looked up some of RandomGuy's posts...yeah, he seems to be the guy to help you!
Well considering my wife and I are seperated and heading for divorce I doubt I can do much than offer much more support then the fact that I've lived it
And to help you not feel alone in this as this is not something that many people will understand unfortunately
Others who have lived it (still living it even) YET remain married are much more qualified in my opinion. Look up Mavash or SimplyAmorous, much of my understanding in regards to my situation came from them
But by the heavens... I almost feel at my infamy with you guys posting my name in this thread >.<
She might whinge, she might threaten, she may even be manipulative, play on your ego even, accuse you of cheating, push pity parties, argue her rights and your obligations as a husband, even twist her religion to make you submit, even get her friends involved to make you feel inadequate, and/or a combination of fking everything.
You are not dealing with the woman you love at this point, you're dealing with someone akin to a Heroin addict who would do anything for a fix. You will risk losing her, she may even cheat, the possibilities will always be there but as Mavash said:
Say no, and stick to it. No matter how hard it is. That's as plain as the advice gets, and it took me 2 years and I came full circle before I finally realised what it meant to have BOUNDARIES. How long it takes for you to solve this is up to you; I don't have a happy ending, Mavash's husband however, has, and he said NO.
There will be no guarantees of whether or not this can be fixed, but the priority will be to stick to your principles, stick to what you can give her but NO MORE. If you continue to give in (which I have done for 4 years of marriage), then your chances of utter failure like me will be more probable then if you establish boundaries early on.
Sheez... this thread brings back memories I'd rather forget
Its been a crazy few years and now I'm celibate, but, I guess I underestimate myself in how I can help others who are going through what I went through. Failing in establishing boundaries has only encouraged her behaviour, and now I have paid the price.
But meh, enough of memories, I shall return to my posts of breaking gold digging hearts and dreaming of climbing radio towers and complaining about the quality of women thus far in my city lol