my wife wants sex all the time
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:08 PM   #1 (permalink)
ict
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Default my wife wants sex all the time

My wife and I have been married for ten months. She wants sex at least once a weekday and three to four times a day on the weekend. Once we did it six times on a Saturday and when I didn't want it for the seventh time she got angry.

I love my wife deeply. She is awesome on every level. However, We are both 39 and I am challenged to muster up energy on any sexual activity past the third time in one day.

She equates sexual activity to love and becomes sad, sleepless and angry when I simply sleep in lieu of sex after a long day.

Does anyone have any thoughts or any experience in this situation?
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife wants sex all the time

There is a poster here named Random Dude that had a similar sitch. I'm sure he will find your post and respond.
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife wants sex all the time

There's a guy on TAM called 'randomdude'... he lived your life.
Look for his posts... his story hasn't had a happy ending but maybe it went on for too long or maybe the reasons were different...dunno.

Have you googled sex addiction? Does that sound like her?

It must be very frustrating to feel you can NEVER satisfy your partner.

HA! Great minds think alike fathful wife!
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:19 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife wants sex all the time

It must be frustrating indeed. Sounds a bit immature on her part too. Surely there can be a reasonable solution to this dilemma? If every other aspect of the relationship is good, then with good communication maybe things will work themselves out.

It may just be the newness of the marriage has her all worked up. Was she this way before you were married 10 months ago?
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:22 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife wants sex all the time

She might need some counseling.

Have you spoken to her about this?
Is she aware there is a finite amount of sexual energy a male can muster over the course of a day?
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:29 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife wants sex all the time

Quit rubbing it in LOL
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:38 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife wants sex all the time

When I first read this, I thought WOW! I'd love to see my wife with a drive that better matched up with mine. But...when your wife is looking to it 4 - 6 times on Sat and Sun...even I start thinking that may be excessive. And I have a high drive and would love to do 2 a days, every day. Actually, if you do end up doing it twice a day, every day, she would still get 14 times/wk - and you guys are probably closer to 13 - 16 times/week. Can you "compromise" and ask her to do it first in the morning and right before bed every day instead of trying to bang it out 4 - 6 times on Sat and Sun?
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:44 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife wants sex all the time

Look up RandomDude.
He's been through this, his wife has a sex addiction, sounds similar to your wife.

He's probably got lots of useful advice.
See, RD, this is why you are still here!
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Old 04-08-2013, 06:59 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife wants sex all the time

Ok, I really don't have anything beneficial to add here, but I'm just curious...how is your wife able to walk???

At first glance, it sounds like it would be awesome to get laid, literally, on a constant basis. But I feel the actuality of it would be painful and hellish.

However, you did say something I can relate to:
"She equates sexual activity to love and becomes sad, sleepless and angry when I simply sleep in lieu of sex after a long day."

I was the same way with drunk sex when I first started dating my husband...after a college stint in ****tiness, I got so used to having crazy drunk sex that when my husband couldn't get it up after hours at the bar, it turned into a huge fight and I'd get soooo mad. In retrospect, it's pretty dumb, but it was a big deal to me at the time.

Sounds like you'll need some counseling and your wife may have either a sex addiction, as mentioned, or some extremely deep rooted insecurity/self esteem problems.

I actually looked up some of RandomGuy's posts...yeah, he seems to be the guy to help you!

Good luck!
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:16 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife wants sex all the time

...

Well considering my wife and I are seperated and heading for divorce I doubt I can do much than offer much more support then the fact that I've lived it

And to help you not feel alone in this as this is not something that many people will understand unfortunately

Others who have lived it (still living it even) YET remain married are much more qualified in my opinion. Look up Mavash or SimplyAmorous, much of my understanding in regards to my situation came from them

But by the heavens... I almost feel at my infamy with you guys posting my name in this thread >.<
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:32 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default my wife wants sex all the time

All the advice I gave to RD would apply to you.

Start by saying no and letting her pout.

She isn't going to die if she doesn't get sex 5 times in a day.
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife wants sex all the time

She might whinge, she might threaten, she may even be manipulative, play on your ego even, accuse you of cheating, push pity parties, argue her rights and your obligations as a husband, even twist her religion to make you submit, even get her friends involved to make you feel inadequate, and/or a combination of fking everything.

You are not dealing with the woman you love at this point, you're dealing with someone akin to a Heroin addict who would do anything for a fix. You will risk losing her, she may even cheat, the possibilities will always be there but as Mavash said:

Say no, and stick to it. No matter how hard it is. That's as plain as the advice gets, and it took me 2 years and I came full circle before I finally realised what it meant to have BOUNDARIES. How long it takes for you to solve this is up to you; I don't have a happy ending, Mavash's husband however, has, and he said NO.

There will be no guarantees of whether or not this can be fixed, but the priority will be to stick to your principles, stick to what you can give her but NO MORE. If you continue to give in (which I have done for 4 years of marriage), then your chances of utter failure like me will be more probable then if you establish boundaries early on.

Sheez... this thread brings back memories I'd rather forget
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:50 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife wants sex all the time

Great post RD.

How does it feel to be giving advice instead of taking it for a change?
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Old 04-08-2013, 07:55 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife wants sex all the time

I dont know... I still feel unqualified heh

Its been a crazy few years and now I'm celibate, but, I guess I underestimate myself in how I can help others who are going through what I went through. Failing in establishing boundaries has only encouraged her behaviour, and now I have paid the price.

But meh, enough of memories, I shall return to my posts of breaking gold digging hearts and dreaming of climbing radio towers and complaining about the quality of women thus far in my city lol
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Old 04-08-2013, 08:41 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife wants sex all the time

Hmmm.... you did it SIX TIMES in one day and she got angry when you wouldn't do a seventh?

OK, I think I'll file this thread into the "probably fake" category.

This is also the OP's only submission, which makes me even more suspicious.

Last edited by Theseus; 04-09-2013 at 05:38 AM.
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