what should I do?
Giving you some background. I am 24 my husband is 35, we moved into together and got pregnant within 3 months of dating. We married two years ago after our son was born.
five months after married he got sent to Iraq for 10 months.
He came home for R&R and we got pregnant. We now have a boy and a girl, two years and 5 months old. After we had our daughter I got on birth control and we got pregnant by accident. As of now, I am going through a miscarriage. Our marriage has been very unstable. He has pushed me down, held me down and choked me. He screams and rages at me atleast once a week. Last week we got into an argument, he left me and my kids at my grandmother's house. I called his phone and he never answered and then finally he turned his phone off. When he eventually did come back after 5 hours he told me he threw his wedding ring onto the interstate. He told me he was sorry, and would change and he loved me, etc... Today I got upset because a number was called on my phone yesterday and I know I never called anyone or picked my phone up even. I spent most of the day resting because I am on pain medication and nausea medication because of the miscarriage. An argument escalated and I told him I wanted to talk about us. I am not perfect I admit. I should not have come at him accusingly. He started to yell at me and I put my hand over his mouth, then he pushed me down. He told me the reason he never wants to spend time is because he doesn't love me. He told me he never wants to spend time with me because he doesn't like being around me. He won't talk to me. I don't have anyone to talk to. My family knows about some things that have happened between us but I don't want to involve them any more than I have to. I don't want to go to my family because I am ashamed and scared. I am depressed. I don't want to be around other people and my self-esteem is suffering. I guess I just want to talk to someone. I can't afford counseling, we don't have insurance. I don't know what I am doing anymore. I am trying to stick it out and I hope that it gets better. any advice or points of view would be appreciated.
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