08-10-2009, 12:38 PM
Join Date: May 2009
| | Re: We have different communication styles
Originally Posted by california123
I'm not sure what is the best way for my husband and I to communicate.
We have a lot of serious issues going on in our marriage right now, so we often have to have serious discussions.
However, I communicate best in writing--preferably online through IM--and he communicates best in person.
I absolutely HATE talking about serious things in person. For some reason, I can't seem to think clearly and forget things and many things go unresolved when I talk in person. It's very hard for me to talk in general, so writing is much easier for me. I've even tried writing him letters and having him read them and then discussing afterward. It really doesn't matter what I do--I can know exactly what I want to say and how I'm going to say it, but then he says something, and I can't think about it clearly or thoroughly until AFTER the conversation and then we just have to have ANOTHER conversation later when he thought we were done with it.
And it doesn't help that my husband HATES talking about serious things in writing--especially IM and text messages. He communicates better in person because he thinks there are less misunderstandings (which I agree with).
I just don't know what to do. I don't think it's fair for him to tell me I have to communicate in person, and I don't think it's fair for me to tell him he has to communicate in writing.
Do you have any ideas of how we can communicate with each other?
When your in a relationship and married you can't always do whats easy, writing your concerns is not a good way to go as talking and interaction is the best way, like it or not.
In that he doesn't want to talk, I'd say your problem isn't communication but something else, perhaps resentment or anger problems as most people who are married can carry on a conversation about a problem.