Originally Posted by demora

Sex chat is cheating, yes, and it hurts. I think it's almost worst then just going and having sex with someone because it's emotional online. I have been a similar situation with my husband, before we were married. I felt very betrayed. He changed his email address and got rid of the ID he used with this woman and all of his profiles say that he is married.

He still chats with a lot of different people - men and women. I have to trust that he's not going to cross that boundary again. I know he loves me and I know that he doesn't like to see me hurting.

I think it's something you have to decide for yourself. It sounds like he's doing everything he can to show you that he's serious about your marriage. Sometimes, as people we don't always think through the consequences of what we do. And many people, especially men, don't see online as "cheating". I think more then cheating, it's a betrayal. One that has ended many marriages since the internet age came into being.

I guess that my advice is to figure out how you feel about it. Can you forgive him? Are you willing to work to save the marriage as well? He can't do it on his own. Forgiving is the easy part, the trusting again is the hard part. It takes a lot of time and patience on both sides.

Best wishes to you.

Originally Posted by draconis

Cheating depends on the couple. Is porn cheating? How about if it is of the couple involved? How about self stimulation? Is emotional relationships with another cheating, how about chats or blogs? Does reading cheesy sex novels count as porn? What if you wrote the cheesy novels? How about if the couple are swingers? Forums? what if the forums talk about sex or addictions?

These are just a few of the grey areas. Every person and every couple has different beliefs. It is up to the couple to communicate well enough to set boundries of what is acceptable.

draconis

Originally Posted by PFTGuy

I understand that online sex chat can be disturbing and is considered cheating by many people, but I really don't agree, personally. More disturbing to me is what I see mostly in this thread, and most others: a lot of very critical attitudes. People who are going to stay married forever have to be able to forgive each other...people make mistakes...they do things for different motivations and most people can learn from their mistakes and mature both emotionally and spiritually.

Where's the love?

I do disclose two things: I was an online cheater, and my marriage is in a lot of trouble. She doesn't trust me at all now, which is one problem, but then there are the problems that I have with her that also seem to be unresolvable. But, I do believe that if we had been more compatible from the beginning, we could have gotten through this kind of conflict. We've been through just about everything else.

Originally Posted by sammysam

hi . I recently happen to see a few word doc.on my husband's laptop ..most of it were the copy of chat box(Yahoo) conversation
he had with other women.. when i asked him abt it ... he told me that , that's how he is and he likes flirting and talking dirty with other women .. we very rarely make love ..he doesn't shown much of interest in me either .... now the problem is ..when i questioned him abt his behavior , he asked me to file for divorce and also told that it will be difficult to stay with a person who doesn't accept him the way he is ... i have a 5 yr old son and i don't really have much of a support from my family ...in this case what should i do ?
should i stick to him or should i walk out?...