my wife is celibate help
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Old 04-10-2013, 07:21 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default my wife is celibate help

shes great in every other respect what do i do yes she e bullyin g sometimes but arnt all women nowadays
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Old 04-10-2013, 07:31 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife is celibate help

No, they're not all like that. Has she always been like that? How long have you been married? Kids? You'll need to give a lot more details, I think.

You can look at "Married Man's Sex Life Primer" to start with, as well as "No More Mr. Nice Guy". Two books that may offer some insight.

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Old 04-10-2013, 07:40 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife is celibate help

If my wife decided to be celibate she would be single.....
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Old 04-10-2013, 07:48 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife is celibate help

Quote:
shes great in every other respect what do i do yes she e bullyin g sometimes but arnt all women nowadays
NO!
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Old 04-10-2013, 08:06 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife is celibate help

Quote:
Originally Posted by scullions123 View Post
shes great in every other respect what do i do yes she e bullyin g sometimes but arnt all women nowadays
Men do NOT get married to be sexless.. shame shame shame on your wife.... what planted this "celibate" seed in her ?

From your own end... what has changed, I assume in the beginning you had , Romance... fulfillment?

1. Is she on meds to ZAP her sex drive?
2. Has she lost attraction to you?
3. Is their built up resentment?
4. Any chance she is overly Religious - feeling sex is dirty/ repression
5. Are you doing your part in fulfilling her Love languages / emotional needs ?
6. Any chance she is masterbating behind your back and lying to you ? - maybe she can not orgasm through PIV sex.


More details to break this all open...
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Old 04-10-2013, 08:17 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Default my wife is celibate help

Quote:
Originally Posted by scullions123 View Post
shes great in every other respect what do i do yes she e bullyin g sometimes but arnt all women nowadays
Oh heck no! I've never bullied my husband ever.

Your wife should also be intimate with you as well. Perhaps she is afraid that it will hurt or not feel good. She very well could be scared.

Find out why she won't have sex with you. Is this an arranged marriage? If so, she may need to get to know you before she has sex. Most women need to be emotionally connected to their husband to want and enjoy sex. Good luck!
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Old 04-10-2013, 12:17 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife is celibate help

I was called frigid by a man I called "unskilled."

What is the real reason she doesn't want intimate relations? There can be many reasons, but you'll have to figure out if your skill might have something to do with it, if it's because of her own background, or some combination of these. Until you do that, it's going to be tough figuring out solutions.
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Old 04-10-2013, 12:33 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife is celibate help

Might need to give

Home | The 5 Love LanguagesŪ

a read. You might not be reaching her the way you think you are, and vice versa.
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Old 04-12-2013, 07:18 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife is celibate help

she said she was going to be celibate when i met here but please dont say i made my bed so ive got to lie on it,
when we married her idea its stayed the same
she want s everything out of me except sex
im 60 so in the present climate finding another woman and the fact that our financial affaire are so interlinked i would be poor
so a poor 60 year old in the present climate not agood basis for finding someone else!
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Old 04-12-2013, 09:28 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife is celibate help

OP,

A few questions to help posters understand.

Does your wife’s celibacy mean "no sex of any sort" or just "no vaginal intercourse"?

Is there a Medical reason (physical or emotional) for her making this decision?

From what you have said your wife did inform you before you married so did you just think you could change her?
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Old 04-12-2013, 09:33 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife is celibate help

Quote:
Originally Posted by scullions123 View Post
she said she was going to be celibate when i met here but please dont say i made my bed so ive got to lie on it,
when we married her idea its stayed the same
she want s everything out of me except sex
im 60 so in the present climate finding another woman and the fact that our financial affaire are so interlinked i would be poor
so a poor 60 year old in the present climate not agood basis for finding someone else!
How long have you been married?

So what exactly is your question? How to get her interested in you sexually? You won't. Sorry. Not going to happen. She was clear what she wanted up front, you still married her. Expecting her to change now is just foolish on your part.

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Old 04-12-2013, 09:38 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife is celibate help

It's now been 14 months without sex for us and I have already gave up on trying after getting rejected several times by her, so I basically put it in her court and told her that when she's horny and ready for it that SHE needs to make the move. I am not a guy who has ever cheated and don't believe in that, but I do believe in divorce and starting over and unfortuneatly that is probably where this is heading.
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Old 04-12-2013, 09:43 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife is celibate help

Ok, im just getting in on the convo, but why would you marry her in the first place? I'd do the trial separation, and ask for some sexual conflict counseling before she could move back in.
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Old 04-12-2013, 09:48 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife is celibate help

Quote:
Originally Posted by scullions123 View Post
she said she was going to be celibate when i met here but please dont say i made my bed so ive got to lie on it,
when we married her idea its stayed the same
she want s everything out of me except sex
im 60 so in the present climate finding another woman and the fact that our financial affaire are so interlinked i would be poor
so a poor 60 year old in the present climate not agood basis for finding someone else!
You're so wrong.

Are you decent looking and are you decent in bed? (I say decent, not good or great for a reason)

There are PLENTY of 60 year old women who have PLENTY of money but no man to make them swoon. Be rich woman's giggalo LOL. (just one though, don't go playing around.) And obviously after you divorce Sister Mary Drycrotch.

PS don't take offense at my joke about your wife but any married woman who declares she's going to be celibate....has some issues and so does her husband.
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Old 04-12-2013, 09:51 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: my wife is celibate help

A marriage that isn't consummated isn't a marriage. You could probably have it annulled.
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