How To Handle Birthday Parties For Kids With Your Ex?
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Old 04-15-2013, 02:05 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default How To Handle Birthday Parties For Kids With Your Ex?

Well the first birthday party is coming up. I'm in a bind. I have a girlfriend and an ex. My ex wants me to have the party at my house. I do not want my ex, (well stbx), there.

It's not about us though, it's about my daughter. I know that but I kinda want to have part here and then she can go to her mothers for the other part.

It's just going to be awkward as hell.

She has a bf and he's not allowed in my home. He is not invited as I despise him, (he's the other man who she starting cheating on me with way back in the summer).

Do I just suck it up and deal with it? Anybody have any advice?

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Old 04-15-2013, 02:14 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: How To Handle Birthday Parties For Kids With Your Ex?

If you're not comfortable with her being there, then don't invite her.
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Old 04-15-2013, 02:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: How To Handle Birthday Parties For Kids With Your Ex?

what i would do once that situation comes up, i would celebrate my son's bday on my own, and she can do whatever she wants, then again thats just me, i would rather celebrate my kid's bday with no tension or awkwardness
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Old 04-15-2013, 02:51 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default How To Handle Birthday Parties For Kids With Your Ex?

Yep. Just have two parties, kids love it and don't have to deal with the tension.
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Old 04-15-2013, 02:55 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: How To Handle Birthday Parties For Kids With Your Ex?

How old is your daughter?
I agree if you don't want the ex and her bf in your house then don't do it. Daughter can have two parties. She'll love it.
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:15 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: How To Handle Birthday Parties For Kids With Your Ex?

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Originally Posted by Isuck View Post
Well the first birthday party is coming up. I'm in a bind. I have a girlfriend and an ex. My ex wants me to have the party at my house. I do not want my ex, (well stbx), there.

It's not about us though, it's about my daughter. I know that but I kinda want to have part here and then she can go to her mothers for the other part.

It's just going to be awkward as hell.

She has a bf and he's not allowed in my home. He is not invited as I despise him, (he's the other man who she starting cheating on me with way back in the summer).

Do I just suck it up and deal with it? Anybody have any advice?

Do you truly believe this or is it just words?

I would have the party at your place with the ex there but no partners. Suck it up and keep it civil for your daughter.
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:15 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: How To Handle Birthday Parties For Kids With Your Ex?

Don't know your whole story, but this is the kind of thing that should be spelled out in a divorce agreement.

My ex handles the 'big' birthday parties. I always have one with the kids when I have them as well.

I'm not the guy, to host a house full of little girls for a party for my daughter, my ex is really good at it, and enjoys it. So in the interest of my child's happiness, I usually leave the major parties to mum.
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:24 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: How To Handle Birthday Parties For Kids With Your Ex?

I never had an issue with bday parties and my exes. I would invite them and split the bill of the party.

We put aside our differences for one afternoon. Not a big deal. We're adults.

Leave the new partners at home though. At least until divorce is final. Seriously. Make it about the kid.
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:25 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: How To Handle Birthday Parties For Kids With Your Ex?

If it's truly about your daughter ask her what she wants and where she wants it and then all the adults should attempt to be "adult" enough to get through a childs B-Day party without incident.

If I were your girlfriend or her OM I wouldn't want to step into that possible madness so that might not even be a problem.
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:38 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I suggested the two party thing, no go. These aren't just words, I don't even know what that means to be honest? (to the person who asked that one...) Then I suggested she have it at her house and I'd have some cake or something here afterwards, (meaning we wouldn't have tension or awkwardness at my daughters bday), no go. (I guess that's two parties still though). So now I have to kick my gf out for the afternoon because my stbx is being a royal PIA?

This sucks.

My stbx is not letting up on the "let's fix things" b.s. Just two days ago she suggested we get back together again. (This is the second time she's done this). I think now her motives are to create stress in my new relationship, which is why two parties ain't gonna happen. My stbx seems to be trying to drive my GF and I apart. If my stbx is not happy then apparently I'm not allowed to be happy either.

My stbx keeps asking me to sit down and talk to her. I don't want to. I don't care what she has to say as I don't believe her and I certainly don't trust her. We recently booked some counseling for the kids and apparently her and I have to go in for a session to give the counselor "background"? I don't really believe that but I have to go for my kids. I have a bad feeling it's a ploy to get me and her in front of a counselor. If it is that, I'm walking out. I'm hate wasting my time and energy on this person who hurt me so badly in the past. I have no use for her anymore.

If there were no kids involved I would never speak to my stbx again.

Last edited by Isuck; 04-15-2013 at 03:46 PM.
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:40 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Default Re: How To Handle Birthday Parties For Kids With Your Ex?

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Originally Posted by Isuck View Post
I suggested the two party thing, no go.

Then I suggested she have it at her house and I'd have some cake or something here afterwards, (meaning we wouldn't have tension or awkwardness at my daughters bday), no go.

So now I have to kick my gf out for the afternoon because my stbx is being a royal PIA?

This sucks.
Did you speak with the STBX to make sure she's not stupid enough to bring OM?

Don't just assume.
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Default Re: How To Handle Birthday Parties For Kids With Your Ex?

YES YOU DO.

Because it's about the child and what the child wants. the child probably doesn't want drama or your new gf there while you're still married.

Suck it up for your child. Seriously. If your gf doesn't understand, then she's selfish and drama.

Holy crap. I dont understand this. Is your gf THAT CLOSE to your kid already that she needs to be there?

Kick her out for the day. Send her for a massage. It's not her child. You're not even divorced. Have the party with your STBX and kid and whomever...then that night, have cake and whatever with your gf if it's that big a deal for you.

Honestly, this is why kids get effed up in divorce, not the divorce itself, but silly shet like this.

Sorry to be a major beyotch, but dude. Seriously.
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:42 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Default Re: How To Handle Birthday Parties For Kids With Your Ex?

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Did you speak with the STBX to make sure she's not stupid enough to bring OM?

Don't just assume.
FOR SURE.

NO new partners. It's a birthday party for god sake. For a KID.
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:48 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Default Re: How To Handle Birthday Parties For Kids With Your Ex?

I edited my response while you were typing I think?

Fark, this blows. It's not as easy as "hey can you like leave for the afternoon please?"
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Old 04-15-2013, 03:55 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Default Re: How To Handle Birthday Parties For Kids With Your Ex?

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I edited my response while you were typing I think?

Fark, this blows. It's not as easy as "hey can you like leave for the afternoon please?"
Actually it is.

I wouldn't have a problem with it if I were her and you came to and asked me...

"Hey, I haven't had any luck getting this party moved and my Ex is going to be here for my kids party.
Could you chill at the mall for lunch and an afternoon on me so my kid doesn't have to deal with the stress of it all at her own party?"

If your GF has a brain cell and an ounce of understanding I don't think you'll have a problem.
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