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Old 04-18-2013, 11:39 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Thumbs down Help!!!

My husband and I have been together for 21 years, married for 14, we have 2 kids-15 year old girl and 9 year old boy. I found out 2 summers ago my husband had an affair with a younger girl in Columbia. Once i confronted him with what I knew, he was very sorry, saying that it was over. Unfortunately, he was lying...fast forward to appx 2 weeks ago, he met with her in Mexico (while working) and did what ever a cheater does. He then, 2 weeks later sent me a letter telling me everything. Since then, the thought of being with him emotional or sexually disgusts me. He has talked about seperation, which I am open to. My only concern is our kids. I want to protect them as much as possible. He wants to tell them the nigh before he leaves. I don't agree. What is an approximate time? Also, just found out the he has opened a bank accounting is name only and has set up POST box....now it's serious!!! I need top rote t my kids.....any advice???? Help!
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Old 04-18-2013, 11:56 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Brook, you're in pain and people will help. I am sorry for your situation.

Some admin stuff. You appear to have started two threads. Delete one and you wil get a clearer set of replies.

I wish you well.
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Old 04-19-2013, 12:01 AM   #3 (permalink)
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You should also see about moving this to the Coping With Infidelity forum.

A request to a moderator can do this, but I have never done this myself.
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Old 04-19-2013, 12:07 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Well, help is my new name! First time ever on a forum like this! I appreciate your input and would really appreciate any help. I'm totally confused by the thread thing. Any advice is greatly appreciated...
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Old 04-19-2013, 12:22 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Help!!!

Oh I am so sorry...this must be incredibly painful.

There are loads of folk here with information to help you get through this emotionally, spiritually and physically.

Do you have an attorney or lawyer?

Do you work?

Family support?
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Old 04-19-2013, 12:22 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Maybe start a new thread, copying what you've already posted, in the CWI section.

If you have time take a look over there. There is a lot of pain, and a lot of good advice.

Hang in there.
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Old 04-19-2013, 02:23 AM   #7 (permalink)
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1st thing to do---is make sure you get to the bank immediately---and do what ever you have to do, to make sure any money coming in from your H---goes proportionately to you and the kids----you might need to go to an atty, and get a court order---but do it immediately----the money your H---brings in, unless you agree to a legal separation---belongs to you and the kids, and your H---and make sure he knows that fact----other thing to do---is call his workplace, and get a hold placed on his checks---to make sure you get what is rightfully yours----anything he placed in the acct---he set up---put a legal hold on it.

If he leaves the country---and quits his job---you got a problem ---IN RE:---support, and alimony---so you do need to see an atty, immediately---to find out your rights

Focus on those things immediately---also cancel any CC's that your H---has---he could run up huge CC bills---and destroy whatever marital finances there are

Do not take the CC thing lightly----if not stopped by cancellation of the cards---he could eat away all your finances quickly---If his name is on the card---or its a joint card---CANCEL IT

Beyond that---take your time, and figure out what YOU WANNA DO, about all of this---but no matter what---do not beg or grovel to your H---and do not use your kids as a reason to beg or grovel----stand up on your own 2 feet, if its over---then its over---and you need to move on.
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