Dealing With An Unfaithful Partner
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Old 04-23-2013, 03:24 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Post Dealing With An Unfaithful Partner

Dear forum members,


It is very heart breaking to discover that your partner, be it your wife or husband, boy friend or girl friend, has been cheating on you. This is even more painful if you really love this person, and you have invested time in the relationship.
Now, the question is; when this happen, how do you deal with it?

A lot of factors will determine your response to this question, so I will list some things for you to consider, but please, write freely when you want to reply to this question. I want your opinion.

1. If you are married to this person, how would you deal with it?

2. If the person is just a boy friend or a girl friend, how would you deal with it?

3. If you are married, and you have children, how would you deal with it?

The factors that could affect your decision are many, so, as I said earlier, write freely.

Do you go out and be unfaithful yourself?
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Old 04-23-2013, 04:16 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dealing With An Unfaithful Partner

Zero tolerance for cheating, if ever faced with that situation the relationship would end that day.
I think cheating is a cowardly act and I would lose all respect for a man if he did that.
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Old 04-24-2013, 09:39 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dealing With An Unfaithful Partner

Check out the Coping With Infidelity section. You will get lots of answers to how we deal with it.
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Old 04-28-2013, 02:28 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dealing With An Unfaithful Partner

No, it's better to divorce and then find someone else than cheat.
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:04 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dealing With An Unfaithful Partner

I married a man I probably shouldn't have. Hindsight... However, I put up with EVERYTHING he threw at me. Alcoholism, neglect, abuse in all shapes and forms, lies, coercion. He always got his way, and if he didn't it was like pulling teeth the entire time. So I almost always gave in. There were good moments, and times, I have fond memories and still love them. But things were rocky from the first few months. We just managed to want to be together, until he didn't anymore. He was pursued for over a year by a young girl he worked with, and when I say "girl" I mean "girl". When he finally gave in and fell for her she was 19. We were over halfway through our twenties. He hid it, denied and in every other possible way it was made obvious. He was man enough to cheat, and man enough to ignore me, but he wasn't man enough to tell me the truth. Had he come out and told me the truth, and made a valid attempt to reconcile our relationship would I have given him another chance? I can't answer that. I've only had 1 relationship in my entire life that didn't result in infidelity (and that was after my husband), so when this one did, I reacted the same. Done. Finito. Fin. Gone. Over. What we had was killed and dead. For me infidelity is intolerable and ruins the trust in the any relationship.
To be honest these series of decisions he made and how he chose to act in the last year of our relationship has totally ruined me for the future. "I'll never relationship again" is how I think now, even almost 3 years later. I'm happy and content, no kids, no boyfriend, no need for either. I think some people in life are just meant to be alone. When I've tried relationships now, I'm sordid and filled with anxiety all the time. I have a insensate attitude about love and companionship. I'm happier without.
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:39 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dealing With An Unfaithful Partner

Quote:
Originally Posted by geo1981 View Post
It is very heart breaking to discover that your partner, be it your wife or husband, boy friend or girl friend, has been cheating on you. This is even more painful if you really love this person, and you have invested time in the relationship.
Now, the question is; when this happen, how do you deal with it?
I can tell you how I dealt with it.

- Me and ex were married 4 years with two small kids and she cheated. We (false) reconciled because we had kids and I didn't want to fail and she acted remorseful and I was stupid.

- At seven years ex cheated and I promptly hired an attorney, divorced her, wiped my hands clean of being anything other than co-parent.

- Learned from my mistakes and dumped anyone with similar red flags to my ex (personality, demeanor, character, etc), until I found a good one 17 years ago.
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:48 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dealing With An Unfaithful Partner

I have been married almost 29 years. Now it has not been easy to say the least. We have 5 amazing children. Many many years ago my husband cheated on me. I loved him so much and could not see my life without him. He ended the affair and we began to reconcile.. It has been tough to say the least but we made it through. about 3 years ago i was going through menopause and well i basically left the planet for a while. i didn't care about anything, i had no energy. Basically i was living to die. Sounds sad but i didn't realize it at the time. Just recently i have been woken up so to speak. and well my husband and i have been talking and we are working it out yet again. In the meantime that i was "dead" my husband got a life while i sat here all the time. Now just for the record i can't blame him and i don't mind. He has made some really good friends which he is starting to share with me and its great. My problem is... back in February he went to Cuba with his friends. Now they have been going away once a year for the last few years and i am fine with that. But on this last trip to Cuba i believe my husband met a girl. I got wind of some emails and well found some of his translations, he is also now texting her. but when i confronted him he said that those people there are very poor and he is helping them out, sending her money and stuff but i don't know what or how much. So i am in a predicament cuz i don't want him to know that i have discovered his translations or then he won't do it at home anymore and i won't be able to find out more. Now please keep in mind that the last couple of years i have been out of it and there has been barely any sex either i hate to say.
This seems like such a great site and although i am new i was hoping that you could all help me out here. He has been great with me, he is taking me to vegas at the end of May and planning another trip later in the year. He has been helpful and attentive but in the back of my mind i can't help but remember what i have read and it is driving me crazy and i am sooo stuck on what to do. We have been together for so many years and been through so much that i finally feel we are getting good and i don't know if i should just wait and see where it goes or kick his ass out. Any advice would be great.
Thanks
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Old 04-29-2013, 04:57 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: Dealing With An Unfaithful Partner

I think it depends on the situation you're in.

If it's a girl you've been dating for 3 months or if it's a wife you've been married to for 15 years and have children with, then consequences will be different for each.
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