I am tired of trying - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-16-2009, 10:27 PM Thread Starter
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I am tired of trying

Have you ever felt this way in your marriage? I feel like I am all argued out. I have nothing else to give. I feel like all my hopes for my life in this marriage are gone based on what my husbands actions. We are working poor, sexless, and a lack of motivation couple. Before I met my husband I thought that I could take on the world but now I feel like I can bearly get through a day. I feel like he never listens to any ideas I have to help us get on top or he just waits until things are so bad then he does something. I resent this.
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-16-2009, 11:07 PM
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Re: I am tired of trying

Sounds like you may also be depressed (and for good reasons). Please see your doctor; feeling like you cannot get through a day is no way to feel and there is lots of help. If you don't have insurance, try a free clinic. This is too serious to ignore.

I'm sorry you feel so down. Can you give us more detail/information? Our replies might be more helpful then.
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-17-2009, 07:39 AM
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Re: I am tired of trying

You may be depressed but you are not saying what it is that he does. Can you give us an idea? how ling have your been married, any kids etc. Has it always been like this.
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-17-2009, 07:42 AM
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Re: I am tired of trying

I felt that way at one time in my life. Someone at that time told me something I found interesting and helpful.

~~~~The definition of insanity... to try something over and over expecting a different result.~~~

I say you should maybe find new ways to apporach your problems
if you want a different result.
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-17-2009, 08:15 AM
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Re: I am tired of trying

Preso you are right in what you are saying. I have tried a totally different approach with my H and for the last week and a half he is a different person. He has finally listened to what I want and need. hope it lasts if not I am getting out of there. I am trying to be better with him as well.
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-17-2009, 02:19 PM
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Re: I am tired of trying

I totally understand where you are coming from. My husband and I argue about everything... It is draining. I finally decided I didn't want to fight any more. Now we are fighting about the separation/divorce. I love him, but I resent so much that I get angry and bitter every time I try to talk to him. But then I cry because I wish it hadn't come to this.

Counseling may help if you think that there is hope. Unfortunately, it's not free. Compromise is important and learning how to communicate with each other. Often times assumptions are made, and this causes the problems and arguments.

Good luck.
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-18-2009, 07:37 AM
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Re: I am tired of trying

once you are past the arguing stage you will talk but the tears run down your face still without really crying. If you want to stay married you will really need to try and sit down with no distractions and try. What about going out somewhere to sit and talk - it might be easier in a public place as neither of you would want to scream and shout. Try work out where it all went wrong.

Sometimes you do find that if one of you does something nice for the other that can be the start of it getting better.
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-18-2009, 05:53 PM
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Re: I am tired of trying

I am tired of hearing my wife say I am TRYING..
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-19-2009, 07:21 AM
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Re: I am tired of trying

Just use Subterfuge. My marriage relationship was also not going well. Few months ago my friend told me of Subterfuge, a relationship game. I have used it and it has done wonders.
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-25-2010, 07:16 AM
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Re: I am tired of trying

I know just how mjw82704 feels, except not being able to get through the day. When you have a partner that drains the life out of you it can be so hard. I am starting to seriously consider separation at this point.
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-25-2010, 07:28 AM
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Re: I am tired of trying

I think we have all been there.

Yes, counseling may not be free but maybe you can find a low-cost resource in your area. What you need is somewhere to sit and discuss your issues in a neutral setting with someone who can guide the conversation.
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 08-27-2010, 11:57 AM
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Re: I am tired of trying

Quote:
Originally Posted by mjw82704 View Post
Have you ever felt this way in your marriage? I feel like I am all argued out. I have nothing else to give. I feel like all my hopes for my life in this marriage are gone based on what my husbands actions. We are working poor, sexless, and a lack of motivation couple. Before I met my husband I thought that I could take on the world but now I feel like I can bearly get through a day. I feel like he never listens to any ideas I have to help us get on top or he just waits until things are so bad then he does something. I resent this.

I am really going through the same thing with my spouse. They think that I have just gone to the ground, really havent been motivated with my life, our marriage, trust, etc. I am trying really to fix things with our marriage. I dont know whats going to happen. I love her so much. She is also one that could take on the world, great wisdom , beautiful, personality is great. I resent the things the things that I ever did to hurt her. I miss her and love her dearly. She has been the only woman I have ever loved.
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