Down, Down, Down

shelleyv · 08-18-2009, 05:10 AM

I have been married for 9 years. Met my husband when I was 13, moved in together at 19, got married at 23. We never used to have arguments but since our daughter was born, all we ever seem to do is fight. The responsibility of becoming parents has (it seems) put a high strain on our marriage. Dont get me wrong, we love our daughter dearly. The problem is my husband doesnt approve of anything I do when it comes to raising my daughter and taking care of her. My self esteem has dropped immensly because he makes me feel like a bad mother all the time. I cant bath her, dress her, feed her properly and everything I do is wrong. If she falls, its my fault. It is very draining. What gets to me, is why do men feel that being married gives you permission to treat your wife like trash all of a sudden. Is this what I get after 9 years? I dont talk to him with such disrespect but for some reason he thinks he can. Why is it that when you say "I do", all the nice things stop. He used to open the car do for me, now I am lucky if I dont get pushed out the way. It angers me that he feels he CAN speak to me this way. Screaming at me in front of my child. Accusing me of hurting her. Like, who gives him the right? He is not perfect. Its so soul crushing to think he disrespects me in this way. Why do men do this?

I deserve better I think.

preso · 08-18-2009, 07:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shelleyv

I have been married for 9 years. Met my husband when I was 13, moved in together at 19, got married at 23. We never used to have arguments but since our daughter was born, all we ever seem to do is fight. The responsibility of becoming parents has (it seems) put a high strain on our marriage. Dont get me wrong, we love our daughter dearly. The problem is my husband doesnt approve of anything I do when it comes to raising my daughter and taking care of her. My self esteem has dropped immensly because he makes me feel like a bad mother all the time. I cant bath her, dress her, feed her properly and everything I do is wrong. If she falls, its my fault. It is very draining. What gets to me, is why do men feel that being married gives you permission to treat your wife like trash all of a sudden. Is this what I get after 9 years? I dont talk to him with such disrespect but for some reason he thinks he can. Why is it that when you say "I do", all the nice things stop. He used to open the car do for me, now I am lucky if I dont get pushed out the way. It angers me that he feels he CAN speak to me this way. Screaming at me in front of my child. Accusing me of hurting her. Like, who gives him the right? He is not perfect. Its so soul crushing to think he disrespects me in this way. Why do men do this?

I deserve better I think.

Sounds to me like you need to have him take care of the baby, maybe you can go to work and let him stay home ?

As far as why he does this... he must not feel in control of his life, and why he tries to control yours... and what you do.