fracturedwife

Hey,
I am a newbie....and newly married at that since march. And I am not happy for the majorty of the time. I kept thinking it was me. But the more I realize it is him. He does not respect me and has a temper issue. My heart is broken, I was raised that you marry forever, divorce is not an option and now I feel like I am crying way more than laughing. I have three year old who is not his....andI feel like all of this is rubbing off on him. My husband wants time with just the boys once a week, which I understand and have no problems letting him do. But when it comes to things that are for me, he is never standing right there next to me. He has a hobbie of working on show trucks, which I support fully. He works on them almost every night until around 10pm. We then hang out for a bit and go to bed. I feel like I give in to everything and I am scared to stand for anything. What is wrong with me? I know that I am an amazing person but I always allow myself to get treated poorly. Please help me...please.

boomer

Have you tried talking to him about it, maybe tell him that you feel under appreciated? While being respectful in the process?

preso

Your not making others responsible for your happiness, are you?
If you are thinking others are supposed to do that, you will be sadly surprised, thats not how life works.
Maybe you need your own hobby ?


I collect old buttons, military, stone, shell....
and make stuff with them.

preso

You can also try cooking, decorating your home, sewing...
maybe arts and crafts, painting...

if you have enough energy.
Most women have liked those hobbies for many centuries.
I enjoy most of those things too.
You can even try your hand at painting ( house, room or on canvas for art).. working out, perhaps get a 21 speed bike,
learn a new skill or follow an interest...
go back to school and get another degree or training in something that appeals to you ( something that appeals to me is learning how to apply permanent make-up, which I may someday learn to do and
go back to work doing it... mostly work with breast cancer patients).

hmmm, lets see, there is also fishing, hiking, book clubs,
and thousands of other things you can do with your time rather than worry your husband isn't paying enough attention to you because he likes to fix up old vehicles.

Focus on whats right, not whats wrong.
Give thanks for your health, and the many other blessings in your life that you may take for granted. Your husband is not here to be your entertainer in life or make you happy.
Your happiness is your responsibility.

If you have doormat tendenacies, work on improving them so you don't feel taken for granted.