Eternity928

Well....I have never used a forum for advice, but I don't know where else to turn. My wife has recently told me that she no longer loves me and wants a divorce. This has completely devastated me. We are recently married, only 2 years. We have had our ups and downs. But I have generally been happy. We have always had a problem with fighting, and she has told me that she wanted a divorce before, but it was in anger and told me later that she didn't mean it. I could see in her eyes that this time, she was serious. I don't know what to do! I love this woman more than I thought was possible. I would do anything to save this marriage. We have planned on going to counseling, but she has told me that she doesn't want to try to fix our relationship. She has become distant and will not open up and talk with me. I have been far from an ideal husband, but she tells me that it has nothing to do with me, she just wants more opportunities. I want her to be happy, but selfishly, I want her to be happy with me, which she has told me probably won't ever happen. I don't know what I can do or say that will help our situation. I don't want to lose my best friend and love of my life!

dcrim

I didn't want to lose my best friend either. But I did...and will never know why.

If she's bound & determined to do this...sorry to say, but cut your losses and heal.

I'm so sorry for what you're feeling and going through...

__________________
It ain't illegal until you're caught!

Corpuswife

I am so surprised at the amount of newer marriages that throw out the divorce word...when fights occur. I've noticed this with my son and his W...now married for 1 year.

It's a problem with anger and control many times. Also, the level of communication is there. When anger and communication breakdown come together it's frustration=DIVORCE WORD.

I would line up a counselor. If she doesn't want to go, then you go. Show her you are getting help. Maybe she will cool down and join you. In any way you will need some support.

Don't be too needy. It isn't attractive. SHOW her,through your actions, that you are trying.

Eternity928

Thank you for your advice! She has told me that she will go to counseling. I am hoping for the best...I have to admit, I have been needy. I will stop immediately and take some initiative. I have just found out (well....put all the pieces together) that she is having somewhat of an EA. The OM is almost 30 years older than her but she has been sharing all of her intimate feelings with him instead of me. She has been hiding the relationship, I just found out on the phone bill... I confronted her and she tells me that she doesn't like telling me intimate feelings, and feels more comfortable telling someone else. I have spent the day reading threads on this site...looking for some hope, because I'm losing mine very quickly.

I have read your story Corpuswife and I wish you the best of luck! I hope to be as strong as you have through this ordeal...

preso

Sadly the fact is, you cannot make someone love you.
If she really wants to not be married to you anymore, you have to let her go and divorce her. be thankful you know now... how she feels and what she wants and not 10 years, 3 kids and a mortgage later.