08-22-2009, 03:19 PM
Join Date: Aug 2009
| | Does my husband have feelings for her? Or am I just a horrible person?
My husband has a childhood friend that he has known pretty much his entire life. I've always felt threatened by her because he has always had such a close relationship with her and she's this extremely beautiful Egyptian girl who looks like she belongs in a Victoria Secret catalog.
She’s extremely shy which is weird because she’s pretty and she always looks dead in the eyes. I ask mu husband about it, but she just says she went through a lot growing up. I was always jealous of her because he spent so much time with her and her personality is the exact opposite of mine. I don’t understand how they’re so close. They went to baseball games together, concerts, he would talk to her pretty much every day and they had the same circle of friends. One of his guy friends sent him a text message once asking him, “when he’s going to dump me and marry Liya” his reply “haha, you’re funny”. He’s really protective of her and she’s also close with his mom and family. They pretty much had a full on relationship minus the kissing and sex. I’ve asked him about it and he says it’s nothing like that. He says he’s known her since they were kids and she’s like a sister to him.
I asked him to stop spending so much time with her and he pretty much did. I immediately felt bad because I didn’t think that he would. She even stopped coming to group outings, (my hubby’s sister told her about my request and the girl said she didn’t want to cause any problems). I ran into her one day after that and she was nice and cordial…….I felt bad. I wanted to apologized to her and tell my hubby to talk to her, but I liked having her out of the picture too much.
A few months after my husband and I got married her mom died, then less than 2 months later her brother committed suicide. They were pretty much her only family. I truly felt bad for her. I couldn’t even say anything to her at the funerals because I felt awful and selfish for the way I treated her. My husband tried to talk to her, but she wouldn’t really say much to him. Even though he didn’t say anything, I know this upset him
She met some guy and married him 3 months later and moved away. His entire family was worried about her, but as horrible as this sound I was relieved to have her out of the picture. About a year later she came to visit his mom, she had just had a baby and for once she seemed genuinely happy. My husband didn’t like the guy, and honestly, I didn’t either he seemed like a jerk. I think she just wanted a baby, but his family didn’t say anything about it to her because she actually seemed happy. I didn’t say anything because I wanted her to stay away.
4 months ago we got a call, she had been in a car accident her husband died on the scene, the baby the next day in the hospital. I didn’t believe it. I though it was a joke, but it wasn’t. She was back in our lives again. I really do feel bad for her, I can’t imagine losing all the people closest to you, but at the same time I just want her out of our lives. Am I horrible for feeling this way?
My husband now spends pretty much every second he can with her. She moved back here and is temporarily living with my husband’s mom. I know she’s going through a tough time, but he doesn’t need to be there for her all every moment. I feel that it isn’t normal for him to be so attached to her. It’s literally like I don’t even exist. Yesterday we got into a huge fight about it and I said something that I absolutely regret. I said that that he didn’t need to spend every second with her and it escalated into our first full on fight. I eventually said something along the line of, “she should have just died in the car accident.” I was upset, I didn’t mean it and I would do anything to take it back. My husband didn’t even say anything after that he just left. I feel terrible, he won’t talk to me. I don’t know what to do?
Regardless of what he says, I think he has feelings for her? Am I wrong for wanting this girl away from my husband?