Lonelyoncehappy

So, here is my story...I tend to keep my personal life to myself because I hate being judged. My husband had an affair with a co worker back in Decemeber 2008....he told me December 18th, and I can even remember what I was wearing and what he was wearing at the time. He cried to me, told me he messed up and said he would never do it again...Ive never seen him cry like this. Said he spent DAYS sick to his stomach but had to come clean...I was appreciative that he told me but now some things are resurfacing.....We learned to move on, and a 1 time mistake is simply that...

He is on the computer late at night, typing back and forth to people I assume. He checks out all these personal ads for women seeking men and he wonders why Im curious if he is cheating? Am I over reacting? I asked him to his face "are you cheating" and he said straight as ever "no". I beleive him, but the constant personal ads and being in his room while im asleep has got to stop or my mind does...

At times I wonder if its even worth my time to ask anymore..........why do I constantly feel like men can just use my heart as a trampoline...take what they want and **** on the side? I have never had a real relationship that didnt involve a faithful man, I just dont know what to do.... Im educated, smart, funny, and I love my husband...

We have sex but I always have to initiate it. He never want to kiss me or go down on me..but he wouldnt think twice to ask me to pleasure him...

Someone help me.....

preso

You need to focus on your emotional health and boundries to select better men. Apparently your picker is off and that could be for several reasons, all beginning with you.
You should stop dating and hooking up with men until you strengthen your own foundation as a person and gain self esteem, which will help you make better choices about who to be with.
Your marriage will not survive cheating and lies...
so it would be a good time to get off that merry go round and work on the things you need to work on to make you a person of better judgement, with boundries who is strong and can not only pick better men but also avoid bad relationships with cheaters.
You have this power to be stronger and wiser but your going to have to work on it... to develop it for a better life.
If you keep picking the same type man over and over... its you, not them... perhaps your codependent or something...