sidlyd

My husband and I have been together for 10 yrs. married 6 yrs. He has two daughters 22 and 17 who live with their mother. I have two kids son 19 and daughter 13. My husband has always been a strong disciplinary, but when his two daughers would visit they were allowed to do whatever they wanted with no thought to personal property, boundaries and discipline. His answer was...they are just visiting.

This June his ex-wife moved to Japan and so his youngest daughter was visiting for three weeks. During this time, he asked that I make her as comfortable as possible so that she would stay the summer. After 3 weeks I was so tired of the special treatment, the lack of respect for our home. I confronted him about some of these things and he did nothing. I was angry frustrated and felt like I had no voice in my own home. Some of the things that she did....leaving wet towels after a shower on our bed, underwear and pjs on the floor, using my perfume and hair products without asking, spilling juice water on the livingroom furniture. In addition to these things, she constantly insulted our home and neighborhood.

He asked that I come to him with these issues as opposing to talking to her myself I totally regret not speaking to her myself. He felt scared to address these issues with her in fear she would get upset and cut her time with us short. As a result of this I asked him to drop off his premadonna at his sisters house, he came home took every last shirt and tie from his closet and left, its been two months since he left.

During the first month of our angry separation he decided to convince his daughter to stay and signed a 1 yr lease in an apartment. During the second month we talk and realized how much we mean to each other we've been on the phone, emailing, texting and seeing each other and even going away because we miss each other.

I'm having a really hard time about this living arrangement, and sometimes feel nothing good can come out of this long 1 year separation. I realize children come first, but we should have been able to overcome his daughters visits set some rules, respect and boundaries as a blended family. Besides she was not supposed to stay permanently. He is now talking about uprooting me and my children so we could all live together by next summer. I find that to be impossible if we don't fix our blended family issues first.

preso

The time to do that was when she left wet towels on the floor, used your makeup and spilled food on the couch.
Not weeks later.............. I don't care if she was just visiting, you should have laid down basic rules for her to follow.

If it were me, I would have TOLD HER ONCE where the towels go... after that I would have thrown the wet towels in her bed...

locked my bedroom door and made her clean up the spills on the couch to let her know you weren't fooling around.
Far as insulting you, you should have taken away her TV or some other priviedge.
Not weeks later complain about it.

I don't care if she was visiting... I think you handled it wrong.
YOU let the little brats run over you... !!!
and by the way... 17 is not a child, its almost an adult. I am thinking it was the 17 year old who stayed with you?

You let her run over you.. maybe not understanding the difference between her visiting and her staying there while her nmother was away.
You let her run over you. YOU WERE TOOOOO NICE to her !