Cuddly84

Okay to make this short and sweet. Ive had bad luck with guys in my past and I have now been in a wonderful relationship for 4 months. WE love each other and knew something the first moment we met. We have declared our love for one another and know tht we r the right person for one another. I bought him a ring and on saturday i asked him if he will commit to me and basically in simple mode Engaged.
I know it seem early but it seems so right surely i have trust issues from my past but I wanna move on and be happy. Y do everyone say oh its too soon etc etc Im happy so why r people so opiniated.
My mum is very supportive shes the one who encouraged me to do it as i love my partner alot its a different love i have felt for my various last bfs.

stav

Cuddly, you haven't told us if your man has said yes!

If he did, then who CARES what everybody else thinks? If he is ready to give you this commitment, and you are ready to accept it, then nothing else matters!

Good luck!

draconis

This is why people say that. Most relationships end after a year. During the first nine months you have hieghted chemicals within your body making an artificial high ie the butterflies. If you start a relationship before you heal yourself you often will have deeper issues and lose interest easier.

That said do what you want. You are an adult who can make your own mind up and have your own happiness. It doesn't matter win or lose it is all of your making.

draconis

Cuddly84

We have been very open from day 1. He is 25 im 24 this year i have a toddler and he wants to settle down and i feel that i am ready to settle down especially with my son to mke it a more stable life I cant hang in the balance I cant keep being going out having fun.
WE have been talking bout the future alot as we both know we wanna be together and get married. He said yes but we r gonna wait for atleast 3 years or more for anything we just wanna promise each other to one another. We just taking ay by day and knowing tht we love each other very much and have a relationship that is still loving even when we havent seen each other for awhile as he works 4 days a week.

m not rushing into anything but its nice to have someone who wants to promise marriage to me and be engaged its kinda not sinking in yet but it feels good it feels the right thing im doing which is a first.

The only embarrassing thing is i bought the ring 2 sizes bigger than he is so going to get a smaller size tomorrow for him.

draconis- I can also see your point with the heightened emotions likewise with my babies father i had them for 2 yrs but wherareas now i do get them but im more comfortable around my partner im not walking on eggshells. In other words it may sound disgusting but its like he is tht close to me its scary its like he is family ( tht comfortable to do watever).
Plus we only live once why not cherish what we have and take a chance.

draconis

Everything I say is only my opinion and I am sure you know more then I do about your unique situation. If you are waiting three years before the marriage I don't see were that is so fast. Most people date for a year, get engaged and marry about the second year anyways.

I wish the best for you and remember to heal yourself. I know from other posts you have been cheated on but remember not all guys are like that. I hope you found your prince.

draconis

berlinlife06

In your heart, you are the only one that rules, and your opinion should be the only one that matters! The problem is that other people want to give your their inputs about the speed you are doing things, simply because for most people, to make a decision like getting engaged, requires more time. My sister moved in with her husband after only 3 months of meeting him, and married him soon after. They´ve been together for 9 years, and now they can´t stand each other, don´t sleep together for the last 3 years at least, but still under the same roof because of their kids. But she followed her heart and did what she wanted. So, just follow your heart, and don´t care about what anybody says!

debrajean

If your heart tells you it's the right thing, then listen to it. Sometimes people wait so long to make sure that it's right that they miss an incredible opportunity when it comes their way. If he's as happy as you at the thought of being committed to one another then what others think shouldn't really matter. Love is between two people.

stav

You both sound like you have thought this through sensibly, and are not going to make any rash decisions. It's great that you've made a commitment to each other as a way to have a go at making a life together, without taking that one irreversable step until you are certain.

I think you'll be fine, so once again, good luck!

demora

My grandparents married 3 months after they met and shortly after the my grandfather went off to war. They were married 61 years when my grandfather passed away.

When it's right, it's right.

sarahdale24

I had just gotten out of a rough relationship. I already had a myspace acct. I was depressed, looking around on my friends pages, and came across a "cool new people". Clicked on one and up came Andrew. We started chatting June 2006, we met in person for one weekend in Aug 2006, (he was in San Diego, and I was in FL). October 2006 we were married. And we have been together ever since. Its had it ups and downs, but one thing I've learned don't give two craps about what other people think. If you are happy that's all that matters.

__________________
"I'd rather have three minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special" from the movie 'Steel Magnolias'

stav

excellent advice Sarah. I met my hubby in March, we were engaged in May, married in July. It's only lasted 30 odd years though, so maybe we made a mistake...

MyKidsMom

Stav that is great 30 years. You dont hear that anymore.

__________________
I am one of a kind, to know me is to LOVE me.

sarahdale24

Yeah, especially since my husband and I are going through our worst test ever. I'm suprised he's still with me, going through this dentist ordeal with me. But he's my hero in more ways than one. Ours wasn't a mistake...and I've learned and still learning about not allowing people to live your life. Its YOURS to live, not theirs.

__________________
"I'd rather have three minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special" from the movie 'Steel Magnolias'

draconis

Just like the forums everyone has an opinion but it is when advice is offered and not what you want to hear or not asked for that people don't like it.

draconis