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Old 08-30-2009, 09:39 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Advice really needed

I have a problem with my husbands attitude, when I married him 5yrs ago his attitude wasn't a problem. But something has changed him, he constantly has an arrogant attitude and is racist about certain states and countries. He constantly says Canadians are bad drivers as soon as he sees a car with a Canadian plate he criticizes them. How does he know that person in the car is a Canadian. In my opinion it should be that person is a bad driver why does he categorize?

Last night we were at his parents house and we were talking about my sister meeting a Californian guy. He went off and started criticizing Californians. We have had a bad experience with our next door neighbor who happens to be Californian so he's categorizing. The person is who we have a problem with, has he met all the Californian people? His mom turned around and said "you just insulted a lot of people in our neighborhood" and his uncle turned to me and said you should do something about his attitude like it's my fault. His mom said to me later that he wasn't raised that way.

I don't know what to do, he's gotten very arrogant. I thought when he lost his job that would have taught him a lesson. He was fired from his last job as they claim he made a racist remark about a coworker. He says he didn't and I guess I have to believe him but with his track record with being racist it's hard to believe he didn't say something.

I love him so much but this will break our marriage apart how to I approach this with him?
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Old 08-30-2009, 09:45 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: Advice really needed

Sounds like he has a lot of anger he is lashing out, maybe in the wrong direction as its easy to generalize and go off about a whole race or type of people ( black, white, etc) when you don't know them. lol
Has something happened to him recently as to why he is so mad ?

He does sound very angry.
and his generalizing is a way to blow off anger maybe

?
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Old 08-30-2009, 09:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: Advice really needed

I am Canadian.

I would have to agree with Preso, sounds like hubby has something to talk about and it has nothing to do with Canadians, Californians or minorities.
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Old 08-30-2009, 09:52 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: Advice really needed

Thanks for your reply. If something has happened he hasn't told me. The only big thing that happened was with him losing his job but I feel like that could be his fault. He shouldn't be angry at all he just graduated in Feb with his BS and other than the unemployment things were good.

If this is how he really feels about things then we have some working out to do in our relationship. I should talk to him, but I think he'll get upset.
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Old 08-30-2009, 09:54 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: Advice really needed

Quote:
Originally Posted by Veronica Jackson View Post
I am Canadian.

I would have to agree with Preso, sounds like hubby has something to talk about and it has nothing to do with Canadians, Californians or minorities.
Thanks for your reply, so you think he's lashing out because he wants to talk about something. Just trying to get attention for us to listen.
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Old 09-01-2009, 12:23 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: Advice really needed

Next time he says something racist (Canadians are bad drivers) just try to calmly wait until he is done throwing a tantrum and say some thing like " You know, honey, it really has nothing to do with being canadian. He's just a bad driver. You know our neighbor down the road? HE's a terrible driver!" Something to that effect. Once in awhile my hubby will let something slip out like that and I just tell him you are being racist, knock it off. It has nothing to do with being canadian or californian or male or female or black or white.

There are two kind of people in the world: bad people and good people. That's it. Being bad or good does not depend on race color religion etc.

Talk to him. Tell him that it bothers you when he talks like that. Try to talk it out. Sometimes after being like that for so long, it might slip once and awhile and you just have to lovely correct him.
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Old 09-01-2009, 12:54 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: Advice really needed

Quote:
Originally Posted by JennaRae View Post
There are two kind of people in the world: bad people and good people. That's it. Being bad or good does not depend on race color religion etc.
As a Californian, I gotta say that there are two kinds of people:

good drivers

bad drivers
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