My bf has some major financial issues. He declared bankruptcy a year ago and has a huge debt to still pay off.
He is 47 and earns a low salary and has never saved any money and has no assets. He has always relied on others to help him out and never stood up and took responsibility.
He said he wants a future with me however I don’t believe he is financially ready. We had a falling out which has made him more committed to saving money, which I also have my doubts but I am trying to trust his word. He says he has records of his expenditure which I would love to see, but am unsure of crossing that boundary. As it stands it will take him another 4 years to pay all his debts off.
I manage my finances responsibly and I think he sees that as a comfort. Having a huge debt will add pressure and cause alot of stress and issues and I believe especially if we merged our incomes, his entire income would go to paying the debt off and we would live off my income, which I think is unfair. I asked him how he could expect someone who he loves to deal with the mistakes he has made previously as before I came along he did not do anything to help himself.
At this stage I feel like I would be putting myself at risk if we were even to move in together. He cannot really afford to live on his own so I don’t see how he could contribute to a household. If we got married I am thinking that I would have to draw up a financial agreement in case things went sour in order to protect what I have worked hard for. It may be selfish but if he was financially responsible then I wouldn’t need to think of this regardless of the income he earns or the assets he may or not have.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how we could possible manage such different financial situations effectively for a positive outcome?