By demanding your husband to just accept you for what you are, you are basically asking him to not react to you like a man
. How is he meant to even do that? And even if he did stop reacting to you like a man, would that really be acceptable to you? Right now he's still interested in you. When he gives up
and accepts you will never change, isn't it really just over
between you on some level?
Men desiring beautiful and height/weight proportional mates aren't being shallow at all. It's exactly what we are biologically designed and driven to do. The actual desirable weight range can be higher or lower, but worldwide there is a common agreement on the 0.7 waist to hip ratio as being attractive. The body logic behind this is that women of this body shape have the greatest success chances at successful pregnancy. What's good for making babies = what is sexy. Wives underestimate physical fitness at their peril, men are deeply deeply driven for attractive mates.
This is a harsh unforgiving truth, and it sounds like you have experienced being on both sides of "damn you're hot", and "damn you're not" body weight equation. No doubt you feel exquiste pain over this issue. The possible solutions are in no way easy pills to swallow.
One option is to find a lower status man that your physical imperfections are acceptable to him.
The other is to find a way to regain at least some of your former physical condition. You haven't stated your medical issue, so I'm not exactly sure how to advise here on that. Check with your doctor.
However I will say that the weight loss and dieting community is basically a trap that seems to keep women on yo-yo weight loss and gains. Most doctors have little insight in weight management too. The real place to look for body work knowledge and advice is in the body building community. Maybe start here Bodybuilding.com Writer: Female Transformation Of The Week - How Much Have You Changed?
There is no quick fix. Repeat no quick fix. But it's possible to work hard over 1-2-3 years and regain much of lost youthful beauty. Not all of course, we'll all never be 22 again, I'm talking about aging well here.
I suspect I'm not saying a lot of what you want to hear. I will stand firm that it's the truth, and I suspect that deep down you know it to be true. I wish you well on the journey.