Re: Late night phone calls...need opinions...
My opinion is thus: if it causes strife in your marriage then it needs to go away for the sake of the marriage. Some people have marriages where it is accepted that either can have friends of the opposite sex with no issues, some don't like that, heck some even have open marriages. The point is it really doesn't matter which one you have so long as you BOTH feel the same way about it.
For me relationships with members of the opposite sex is a no-no. Even if it's innocent it can feel awful to the other person, maybe they say nothing to you about it, but they still harbor feelings of jealousy. Why go there? Why put yourself in any situation which has even the potential to become compromising? Also just because your wife is innocent about it, doesn't mean he will be. Why should you be in any position in which you have to wonder all these things?
Explain to her how it makes you feel. I don't know who you are or what posts of yours I should ignore or what's different now, but I sense there may have been some history here with inappropriateness in one form or another from one of you already. If so then yes this is going to be "emotionally triggering" behavior. I totally recognize this is just me and my 2 cents here, but this could turn into a real problem. This is why members of the opposite sex should not empathize with one another while they are already in relationships, it creates the potential to turn into something not appropriate and it screws with your thoughts and feelings even if it doesn't.
There are forums like this one for people with sleeping disorders, there are chat groups, there is approximately half of the global population that is female that she can talk to. People occupied themselves with things when they couldn't sleep before the advent of the internet.There are plenty of alternatives.
This could be a very big red flag, I'd say 5 to 8 depending on how much it affects you and how much it affects your marriage.