General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Well, my marriage is over. For a while my husband has been talking to this girl at work. So to be more trusting (I used to not trust him) I let him talk to her because I honestly trusted him. Well he started texting this chic more and more and more. I asked him if anything was up, and he said no. Last night, I checked his texts. He was telling her he couldnt wait to eat her *****, she told him she couldnt wait to cum. It goes back and forth for a while, very sexy talk. When I confronted him about it, he told me that it was just for tease, it woulnt ever happen. But I still knew! you dont write all that unless you plan to do it. So today I call him and he told me that hes leaving me for this woman. I begged him not to... to no prevail. Heres the thing! He actually wants me to stay in the same house with him while he is dating another woman. I dont think I can handle seeing him come home all happy from being with another woman.
Heres the thing we have 3 girls, and a baby on the way. I am 12weeks pregnant. I feel like i have absolutely noone that is here with me. Hes gonna teach the girls to call this lady mommy, and well basically.... I have been replaced. Ok. Imust go as I am typing and I cant see what I am typing. Please someone write back. Sorry this is long.
P.S. He blames all of this on me... stating if I would have trusted him in the beginning he woudn't be leaving me now.
Tell him to leave and that there is no way you and your daughters will put up with that behavior. What does he think he is teaching your girls? And you're pregnant. What a guy.
He sounds very young, immature and selfish.
You should strike first -- see a lawyer immediately. No kidding.
First of all I just want to say ((HUGS)) you do not deserve to be disrespected and treated so badly and by your own husband no less. Three little girls and one more coming. Wow, that is a huge row to hoe right now. The stress in your condition is definitely not healthy. Him justifying his behavior due to trust issues is just bull. Sounds to me like you were very fair to him and gave him the benefit of the doubt all along. You have a lot at stake here. Logically I know seeking the advice of a family law attorney would be a good start but I know emotionally your heart is breaking. How awful. My ex had an EA with a co-worker and left for her as well however we share NO children so I can't even begin to know how this will pan out for you. I hope you have a very supportive family and friends. If I had a friend nearby in your shoes I would make myself available day and night. Good Luck. He may have had the power to leave you but you own the power now and you make decisions which are best FOR YOU AND YOUR LITTLE ONES. Take Care
go ahead everyone, tell me i'm wrong to tell loveissweet29 to confront the other woman. tell her what she's doing to this girl's life.
i don't think you're wrong for suggesting this.
if she feels the need to vent towards the other woman, i say go for it.
i don't think it'll accomplish very much because the other woman has already shown she has little regard for the sanctity of marriage or the feelings of others.
I am so sorry he has done this to you honey. As recommended above, consult with a lawyer immediately and get that going so you can at least end this as quickly as possible and spare your little ones the drama of a long drama filled divorce.
You are absolutely right to not want to live together, matter of fact, why doesn't he move in with the OW since they are so close now. What an a**. I know your heart is aching and you feel like someone knocked the wind out of you, but get up and get what you need for yourself and those kids!
What an absolute piece of ****!!!!!!! I am so sorry you are having this happen to you. It is horrific that he is abandoning you, three daughters and the child you are pregnant with. That is just plain sick.
Did you keep his phone with all those text messages? I would have taken that and used it as your proof in court. Not a huge problem though as most courts don't seem to really care anymore about cause and just split everything.
Some things you can do though.
-Hire an attorney and file on him.
-Put in a request for sole possession of the marital residence during the divorce proceedings.
-If he even makes you feel threatened for a second, file a Protection order against him. That will keep him away from you, your girls and the house.
-File for supervised visitation.
-File for temporary support and if he is even a day late, have the attorney threaten him with contempt.
-Document every single conversation with him. Get a mini voice recorder and keep it handy when he is around. Heck record everything he says.
-Find support groups in your area.
-Find a therapist that you feel comfortable with and see if their services are covered by your insurance provider. If they aren't, then ask the courts to force him to pay the costs.
-Ask the courts to make him pay your attorney fees, I would bet they will considering your situation.
-Try to get out of the house so you can do some things for yourself. This is really important to your own mental and emotional state. Don't lock yourself up in the house because you will dwell on it even more.
Lastly, remember this. The recovery process of something like this takes time. You will go thru stages of greiving that will be unbareable during this but it does get better. Something my therapist always said to me when I went thru it...."There are better days ahead." She was 100% correct, it just takes time.
Your H is an immature Pr**k hon, and I would tell him to get the hell out of the house. He can go live with his homewrecker. The reason he is trying not to, possibly, is because once they would live together, their relaitionship would enter into the realm of....REAL LIFE...and he would be confronted with all her little quirks and she with his. The relationship would go down fast. He is in a fantasy world, but there is NO reason to cater to him. Go see a lawyer immediately...if you cannot afford it, contact the legal aid office in your area and see what they can do for you. New Begginnings gave you a great list of what you can do. It's likely this idiot you are married to will repaet this pattern throughout his life...sounds like he thinks he's a player, when all he is is a pathetic little boy. You can and WILL do better, for yourself AND your kids.
Take care of yourself, and that little bean. Draw your strength from your babies....they are YOURS and some bimbo will never replace you.
When we were much younger, before children, I walked in on my husband in bed with the Other Woman at a friend's house.
I could not confront her, ever. I just hated them both for a long time. I told him he had to move out. We fought and cried, then he moved out of town (away from us both).
You must tell him to move out. His actions are not acceptable at all. I agree with all the other posts above.
Most of all, try to find some other joy and happiness to think about rather than the dirty double crossing he has done to you and your family.
You are their mom, NO Matter What!
If you think this will become a big fight, try to find a mediator who knows family law to work through the decisions you will both need to make for your children.
So very sorry to hear about your current plight. Know things will get better, really, really, really!!
Crying as I type this... 
For a while my husband has been talking to this girl at work. So to be more trusting (I used to not trust him) I let him talk to her because I honestly trusted him. Well he started texting this chic more and more and more. I asked him if anything was up, and he said no. Last night, I checked his texts. He was telling her he couldnt wait to eat her *****, she told him she couldnt wait to cum. It goes back and forth for a while, very sexy talk. When I confronted him about it, he told me that it was just for tease, it woulnt ever happen. But I still knew! you dont write all that unless you plan to do it. So today I call him and he told me that hes leaving me for this woman. I begged him not to... to no prevail. Heres the thing! He actually wants me to stay in the same house with him while he is dating another woman. I dont think I can handle seeing him come home all happy from being with another woman. 
Re: Crying as I type this... 
