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Old 05-23-2007, 09:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default She's pushing me away

My girlfriend and I have been together for over 2 years. For the first 2 years, I lived in NYC and she lived in Albany NY. We spent weekends together as much as we possibly could, with me usually travelling up there to see her. In May of last year, I moved up here to Albany and we moved in together. Now we have a house, dog, etc. She has the ability to ruin any good feeling, or dynamic we have with out of the blue anger and temper. It pushes me away, and then she complains that we do not have sex enough or we do not have fun together. All the while she's unapproachable and mad. How can I give her the love she asks for and deserves, if she will not stop pushing me further and further away? She says that all I do is blame her for our lack of intimacy and closeness, and has had enough of the blame game. But if she changed her mind state and stopped pushing me away, she'd get everything she craves and then some. It's always there for her to enjoy, but her actions do not back up her words in regards to altering her attitude. I desire a fun-loving, sexy, exciting relationship with this woman. Just do not have any idea as to how to get that.
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Old 06-12-2007, 05:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
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You both need to work together on giving each other what you want. Since she is hot tempered, my guess would be that you are the more calm one. One needs to give 1st, so why don't you. Or else both of you will be going back n forth on who doesn't do what. Give her what she wants, and when you give it to her, and you know she is having fun, as she would like, then you confront her (in a loving way) on what you want. Let her know that you heard her and you are trying to make a difference, and now its time for her to hear you and try to work on her temper. You can also help her with her anger and temper. Love has no condition, so give her what she doesn't deserve, and help her to work on her anger and temper. Alot of times people tend to not give their partners what they want because we say they don't deserve it. Most times, that does not help the situation. Maybe if we give our undeserving partners what they don't deserve along with love that will get the ball rolling for change to happen.
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