Met my wife 40 some years ago, we dated a year and she told me she was pregnant with my child. I loved her and I married her.
She is 7 years younger and I was brought up as a catholic so marriage was sacred to me. But things were just not right and we had problems. I guess I'm not the best looking guy and I caught her sort of walking a little behind me, like she was ashmed to be seen with me. I asked her for another child but she denied me and in one of our heated augments she told me that I was not the father of our child........I could not believe this, I could not believe that someone would lie about something like this. I remember I got in my car and drove and cried, I drove until I ran out of road, 1500 miles to the keys in fl.
That was about 10 or so years into the marriage.
I turned the other cheek on this and tried to do every thing to make her happy. I wanted to build a new house in the country but when the time came she would no go, later I found out the neighbor and her had things going.
So, for many years now we live together but we are so distant and WHY didn't I get a devorce????? Where am I going to go at my age (70yrs)
I have a 93 yr old mother that I share with 2 sisters so every 3rd month I get her. I seved my country and as crazy as it seems I believe I was sent there to meet my wife 40 yrs ago to save her child because she was for abortion at that time.
She works full time and I think she is plannig to make her move now and me I'm all srewed-up because I never jumped around like she did. I started to go to dances and drinking and looking and did find people interested but I don't trust anyone and I don't belive anyone, I never lied but now I even learned to lie.
She said she is going to take everything from me and I don't know where to go with Mom. I am blessed with good health as Mom is and I have inheritance money that she can't touch which is killing her.
I'm getting older and older and I'm so afraid no one will there for me like i am for my Mother
Her son is a good son but he is for his Mother like it should be and we get along.
I guess I could of been a better husband some how, but I'm from the old school, I thought marriage was a one thing for life
I thought you don't lie to any one especially your husband/wife and secrets between man and wife is unheard of
How we live isn't so bad I guess, We have our own bathrooms and bedrooms and share the rest of the house. We never talk we write notes.
I never eat with her, she has a history of lies so I don't trust her. I was happy the way things were but things are going to change
Just was wondering what kind of a response I would get on this and what you think I should do
Without trust there is no life. I can't imagine living so long with someone you can't trust.
I think you must try and open lines of communication with your wife, as she obviously has issues as well. Sometimes these things can be helped by open and frank discussion.
I know you are from a generation where talking about feelings and needs is an alien concept, but perhaps you could talk to your doctor or someone you do trust, about maybe talking to a counsellor, who will at least help you organise your thoughts and help you decide what to do with your life.
You must do something, passing notes to your wife of thirty years? What kind of life is that?
I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. I know you say you are happy with the way things are, but reading your post sounds like you may be content with the situation but it must be very lonely to live this way. I can understand the last thing you want at this point in your life is disruption of your marriage and home, but if it is what you are faced with, I would take charge of the situation. If you need to move, start looking around. Have you thought of a age 55+ neighborhood? Some of them have nice amenities and activities where you could meet new friends. I understand your issues with trust, but there are trustworthy people out there and the best way to meet them is to start friendships and build from there. If there's no romantic spark, you haven't lost anything, but gained a friend. Your local VA or if you go to church are other ways to get involved socially and not feel so lonely. I wish you the best. And would also like to extend a big thank you for serving our country
It sounds like this woman has leeched off you your entire life, starting with a lie. CHances are she was pregnant before she met you and could not or did not want to marry the real father so saw a chance to trap you. Then through the marriage denied you love, care, and affection and even the ability to sire a hire.
You are a giving man, who got trapped in a bad situation. You have served everyone else (your country, mother, wife, and her son) Do something for yourself. Treat yourself. Bless you.
You put up with a lot so you wouldn't be alone?? Well, I think that by now you should keep trying to enjoy your life. Good thing you are in good health. Enjoy every moment while you can, and whatever will be convenient for you will happen. In the mean time, try to enjoy your life as much as you can.
Try to seek some help from a professional. This is the one thing you really need to help you on your way to a better life, believe me. Professional therapists have nothing to gain or lose, and they are trained to help YOU make decisions to enhance your life.
Give it a try. You won't be sorry.
Be sure to get a lawyer as well. You need to place your money in a safe place away from your wife and her son, at least while they are in their mindset.
Your post is so sad! That's terrible to put up with so much grief caused by your wife. I am struggling with the "trust" factor in my 24 year relationship; I can't imagine dealing with the problem 40 something years.
I believe that the other posters have given you some sound advice. I would definately go see a counselor and a lawyer. You will feel better (and not totally "alone"). This forum is great too! Please keep us up to date.
So afraid of dieing alone
