Joshp

hello everyone, I'm new to this forum sight and I can't bare the pain that I suffer right now alone so here i'am venting out. last week I cought my wife cheating with a coworker and this relationship has been going on for months, I found out through a friend of my wifes because it bothered her to know that my wife would do such a thing to me, she called me and told me that my wife had called her to tell her that she's been seeing this guy at work and that she likes him alot, but didnt know how to go about it with me around. After being notified with this information, i had to tell her that i knew what was going on, so I called her and told her and of course she denied, so I started to do my homework, I did what i never thought i had to do since I always trusted her, i went through our cell phone bill and sure enough the was a certain number there from morning time lunch time and after work calls, and text, so i wrote down the number and used revers detective paid $20.00 dollars to see a name and address on the phone number sure enough a guy, I called the bank were my wife worked and asked if I could speak with the man by that name and the receptionist informed me that he no longer worked there, so I knew this was the guy I was looking for. I called his number and left a nasty message, and that he had 10 minutes to call me back or i was on my way to his house. He called me back and with a couple of threats he spilled it all out, I was devistated, My wife of 8 years has broken our vows and It's been hurting me bad, we have 3 children 13,12,and 5. As my wife got home I had a name and a conversation to go by so i confronted her and she told me everything, the worst part was a week prior to all this being exposed she told me she was gonna go to the movies with her friend and i insiseted that it was ok and i told her not to come home to late since she had to work the next day, My wife showed up at 1:00 in the morning from 8:00 to 1:00 when my wife confessed all this drama I asked her if she had been with her friend that night and she said no she was with that guy. That broke me up pretty bad, She lost all my trust and now I won't even look at her, My kids are devistated as well, they heard there mom confess to me and had some words in anger for my wife as well. Please someone help, she does not want a divorce she cried to me that she's sorry and that she knows what she had at home, and she doesnt want to lose me, I'm still here because of the kids, but i'm not happy, the image burns in my thoughts of another man holding my wife, what should I do?

FloridaGuy

do you want her back? are you willing to work this out?

you know what she has to do, cut this guy out completely. this guy no longer works there, that's a very good thing. she also needs to be open with you from now on, you should know her email/facebook passwords and be able to review the phone records whenever. she has to prove herself to you now that it seems like you are the one who is most likely to leave the marriage. sucks that the kids are involved.

good luck, i feel for you

stoomey74

Your situation is very similar to mine. I found out, confronted her, she said it would never happen again and I caught her twice more with the same guy. I never got any reasons why it happened.

Several years later I am still dealing with the pain and I am thinking of divorce. I am just not happy. I moved out for a month and then suddenly she wanted to work things out but has been ignoring me for years.

I don;t have any advice to give, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. If you want to chat, drop me a message. It might help to just vent to someone who has been in the situation and someone who is not involved in your every day life.

You are the only person that knows what is right to do. people can offer opinion but becareful not fall into the trap of listening to what people tell you to do it.

Cheers!

helpwelcome09

I def. agree with the thing about not listening to what people tell you to do. I had been in relationships before where I was cheated on and I had to find out myself and I understand that you can't get the image out of your head. I think that you need to think of yourself and your children when you are deciding what to do. You need to think what will be best for you and them in the long run... weigh out if living with someone you are not happy with is good example for your children or if time will indeed fix things. Also if you do work this out I hope that she understands that it will go back to square one again... you will ask her where she is going and who and she will need to understand that you are entitled to such information after such behavior.

Good luck