23 Years of Marriage that May be Ending

swedish · 01-05-2010, 11:35 AM

I'm sorry to hear that. I also have a 14yo daughter and if she has known and been keeping this secret for months, she is probably relieved to talk to you about this but I am sure it has been a very difficult few months for her.

I can understand your focus shifting to your children & would encourage you to discuss the same with your husband and have him talk with her. He needs to take ownership of this and hopefully can admit that he was wrong, made a mistake and hurt you by his bad choices. Kids can accept that their parents are not perfect, but to fear their parents' marriage is on shaky ground is very stressful for them.

sadandhurt · 01-05-2010, 09:28 PM

Thanks once again for all the kind words and good advice. My daughter always chats with me in the a.m. before school. This seems to be our time together before we are both at school and can't really talk privately. As a teacher, she doesn't get lots of my time during the school day. As we were talking, she said "how she hated her father. I told her that she shouldn't hate, but she should love him. He is not perfect as far as a married relationship, but he is a great Dad." I would never, ever sever that relationship.

I hope by going to the counselor and I hope by my husband's further discussion with my daughters, he will be able to shed light on some of this situation. I certainly will not let him minimize the hurt but perhaps there can be some closure for my kids.