Re: Hurting and confused
I am on the "other" side of this.I am the man with the rage.
I have OCD badly,and "Mildly" Bipolar.I have mood swings.I have started to see these coming and if it is the bad ones,I ask to be left alone.Basically giving the family a heads up of "hey its not you guys its me,but please just leave me alone cause I am having a episode".
Me and my wife for years we have had ups and downs with this,even when we were dating.She loves me and knew at times I was not "right in the head".I have had "Anger Management" therapy,they told me that no one "makes" you angry,you choose to "get" angry.I still do not believe this.People learn the right buttons to push and out of spite they will push them.HOWEVER it is up to you as a person to LEARN to see it coming and to CONTROL your behavior.
Its like seeing a train wreck just before it happens and switching the track to avoid the wreckage.I am learning to switch tracks.Do I slip up and get mad?Yes I do,but there is a difference in getting mad and being in control and raging or over reacting.
I feel for you Southernsbo,he NEEDS to realize there is a problem with rage,the revengeful attitude is not healthy for a marriage.
I see to trains on a collision coarse,can I switch the tracks before the wreckage?Resentment this is the killer of marriages.
He says,She says followed by Anger then resentment,resentment then disgust for your mate,followed by no sex or love,then cheating.
It sounds like he is a angry person all around.
Was his father there for him?Mine was not,I still have a chip on my shoulder about it.Resentment is such a powerful thing.
Have you done anything in the past that he would have reason to over react?I would say you have been true to him,however jealousy can eat someone up inside and some people never learn to control that emotion.
Has he always been like this?Maybe he has a problem like OCD or Manic Depression or Bipolar.The solution is to see a doctor for proper diagnosis.I will state here and now that I am not medicated for my "problems",I should be maybe,but just knowing about them and knowing that I definitely have these imbalances has help 100%.I got my head out of the sand so to speak.
Also with him being vengeful and calling these women and also the trips for days on end with no contact.....be on the look out for a no good lying cheater. I say this not to worry or upset you,God knows you don't need none of that.However it would be foolish to ignore the possibility of him cheating.Check his emails,web sites and phone records to make sure.You do not want to be caught off guard.Then if he is you have options,bail from the train wreck and start over or Forgiveness.