You don't state a reason for your family's dislike of your wife...
They think she is a miserable person, always unhappy, crabby about something, unappreciative, and not interested in bonding with my side of the family. They think she is all about her family and would rather have nothing to do with my family.
The way I see it, she maybe just needs to work on showing her interest in my family. I always thought it was obvious, but maybe not. Like the time she made a long car trip to visit my parents just days after having her appendix removed. We had planned the trip for months, and she didn't want to miss it. While there, she was in some pain and was visibly uncomfortable, I thought obviously from the surgery. However my mother interpreted it as her being unhappy to be visiting. If she didn't want to go see my parents, she had ever reason to just stay home and rest from the surgery, but she made the trip anyway because she knew it meant a lot to my mother and she wanted to be there. My mother doesn't see it that way.
On the other hand, my wife does do some things that I think are appropriately interpreted by my mother as being a bit divisive. Like forgetting to invite important members of my immediate family over for the holidays, while extending the invite to my wife's sister's in-laws.
To further complicate things, I think both of them do things that are completely harmless and inconsequential, that they end up interpreting as earth-shattering events that were clearly done to take a stab at the other person, when that's just not the case and no ill intentions were ever meant.
Basically there is a huge divide between my wife and my family right now. Everyone is cordial in person, and I guess we all fake it and act like things are just peachy. But behind the scenes, I know that they hate her and I think she is growing to dislike most of my family (I know she already hates my mother). I'm just not sure if this divide can be mended and how to do it. With my mother, I guess I should almost expect that there will always be issues. How many people get along with their mother-in-law anyway? But I can't tolerate my whole family being at odds with my wife, and with her now developing a resentment with them and further complicating the matter.