bluebird

Are any of you in a relationship when the only time your spouse/partner wants to spend time with u is to have sex?

For us, my husband only wants to spend alone time with me when he is feeling frisky. Other then that he is invovled with his hobbies, and doesnt have the time of day for me....We dont connect on an emotional level anymore, yet he doesnt understand when I dont want sex? For me I need the emotional connection before sex?

Anybody else live like this?

swedish

I think it's quite common. I have been in that position myself. Unfortunately, it eventually caused a lot of resentment on my part, hence less and less sex and him feeling unwanted and unloved. We were both feeling let down by the other and it's a very difficult place to be. I didn't realize he was having those feelings but some men can continue to have sex even when they feel emotionally disconnected. I would definitely have a good talk with him and start to have fun with each other again--go on dates, etc. I would not ignore it, that's for sure...biggest mistake I ever made....the problem will not go away, but he might.

bluebird

Thanks for the reply. I just didnt know if it was common or not.
My husband is a good man, but he gets very involved in his car hobby. He literally spends every free minute hes not working, on his cars..I keep busy with my 3 kids, so its not like I am sitting in the house crying...
I dont always turn him away. The truth is sometimes I have sex just to be close to him, as its the only time that he is awake that he ever truley pays attention to me. But, then day to day life continues, and it makes me feel bad, that is the only time he wants to be with me. Now dont get me wrong, he doesnt ignore me. He is nice to me on a day to day basis. LOL...Sure we talk about general things, but he tells me I dont "understand" his issues/hobby, and that I am the unreasonable one *sigh*...