Marriage Issues

BRINASH07 · 03-19-2008, 08:22 AM

I need a man and a womans opinion on an issue that my wife has created.
We've been married for about 7 months now. Well on her days off from work which are Mondays and Fridays she uses our laptop pc to check her email and myspace. Well come to find out she also goes into chatrooms on Yahoo. I dont know what kind of chatrooms they are but none the less. She has proceeded to give her cell number and her email address to numerous guys and only guys! Never any girls! She claims its for friendship only but I'm not that stupid! I know this because I have seen the numbers in her cell phone, on the phone bill as well as found pieces of paper with there names, numbers and email addresses written on them. While she hasn't had a sexual affair and hasn't met any of them in person is what she's doing wrong? Espicially for a 24 year old married woman? Whenever I confront her about it she puts up a defense and tells me '' its none of your damn business who I talk to ''!
Everyone I have talked to about this says its completely wrong and they all pretty much have called her a *****! Can someone please give me some insight as to why she is doing this and what I should do about it?
Thank you.

mshajny · 03-19-2008, 09:50 AM

well i can see talking to someone online and keeping it as that but taking it past that is crossing the line... giving out a personal number was where i would have gotten heated
i was in the same situation only it was my husband... it was where i wasnt giving him the attention he wanted or was looking for so he found it else where.what worked for us is neither of us have a myspace account and we flat out ask each other if there is something more that we want.

mollyL · 03-19-2008, 09:59 AM

I agree that it is going over the line giving out her number to guys, but I think you should also find more sympathetic feedback than people who call her a *****. Was this happening before your marriage? It seems that there are very hard feelings on both sides for newlyweds. Why did you marry? It would seem not mostly for love for you two to be so hostile to each other in these early days. The last advice you received seems right on to me. You both need a totally truthful talk with each other and you need it now!

Amplexor · 03-19-2008, 10:44 AM

I would guess she is missing something in the marriage. She is reaching out for support, friendship…. Did she do this before you were married? Also not to be too sexist but I think we all know what a lot of these guys want. Does she? Giving out a phone number over the internet is not only crossing the line but could be dangerous. When you question her about it, it is “your damn business” because she is your wife and this behavior bothers you. Discuss it as calmly as possible and try to get other issues in the relationship out on the table. Good luck

Immortalone · 03-19-2008, 11:30 AM

I would also have to ask if before you got married what kinds of friends did she have. Alot of women are more friendly with men then women. Did she have alot of guy friends to start with. Was she a tomboy type that went out and played catch with the guys. If so then she sounds like she is still just having guy friends. Does that make it easer on you? Nope. Does it make it right? Nope. But it gives you a place to start with on your relationship.

draconis · 03-19-2008, 10:53 PM

Would it seem to you that she feels less attractive and therefore is seeking attention with flirting? Many people do this. At the level she is doing it at I would be inclined to say it is a problem because it affects the marriage. Since she is seeking emotional support from others it is an emotional affair and while you really shouldn't tell her who she can have as friends the marriage should be first. I would be most worried that she is setting herself up for danger with some of these guys where as she might not plan to cheat but allows herself to be put in the postion to cheat.

draconis