help Im angry very angry!!!!!!

noideato20 · 12-03-2009, 05:41 PM

Ok he moved out monday no contact except text about money. I am so filled with rage and anger today I can hardly stand myself. I feel like I dont even know how to say it. Like he did this and im left feeling like this and he feels nothing. nothing. I have to get a grip I hate feeling this way. We have a school function to go to I feel like im gonna throw up.
Posted via Mobile Device

tryingtocope24 · 12-03-2009, 05:55 PM

It sucks when the people we love do things that hurt so much, You and I are not in control of anything thats the hard part. We have no crystal ball or magic wand to fix the pain. I am sorry I can not give you advice because I myself have felt the way do do for many months now. I is a really bad roller coaster ride. This site does help getting the message out how bad you feel and sometimes you get some info that helps. But mostly it is the support.

Good Luck

noideato20 · 12-03-2009, 06:03 PM

Well your right, I read an article today about grieving over divorce and of course it says you have to go through all the stages. Im not sure if the self pity or anger is easier I dont like either one. I know its wrong to feel vengeful but thats how I feel right now like I want to lash out at him. Its even hard when I see him talking to the kids and being all happy go lucky. I know they probably need one parent thats not an emotional wreck but Im mad its him. I wish I were the one that didnt want to be married, I wish I was the one that cheated. It just looks alot easier over there...

Believe · 12-03-2009, 06:38 PM

I sooooo feel your pain! It is horrible to go through this. I am still angry 11 months later, though not as much. Over time things do kinda get numb. But if you still love the person that left it doesn't get much easier to deal with. Just last night I was saying to myself "why can't he just come home?!! We need him here." Yes it does look like it is easier over there where they are. I am not sure that it is. If you get a chance to read some post where the Husband leaves and is away from their kids. It must be hard. But of course no where near how hard it is for us dealing with the mess and the kids crying and all that. Just hold on. Hold on the best way you know how. You will have some better days. It is a roller coaster for sure. I will send you some healing energy in hopes it will help relive some of the hurt in your heart.
keep us posted.
~Blessings~

whyminvrsatsfd · 12-03-2009, 06:38 PM

I have been thru the same thing too. I can tell you that you need to find something to channel that anger and frustration. Nothing will change except you and your reactions. Dont waste too much time on this...life is short and hes not worth it. Scream, punch a punching bag, run...get it out, then move along. Someone that no longer makes you a priority, deserves so much emotion and energy. Write a list of things that make you happy and make you laugh. Force yourself to go out and stay busy. And when you look in the mirror, tell yourself "his loss", over and over. Cause although you may not feel it right now, its still true. Does his new gf know what will happen when things get rough? He'll cheat and lie to her too. Now you have piece of mind, cause you dont have to worry about what hes doing or who he's doing it with. Times the best healer. Now when I see my ex...I just go thru the motions cause we have kids. I would love to spit at him....but he's more irritated when Im happy, then when Im violently angry. When Im pissed off, he knows he can affect me, while happy, he sees I dont give a s***!

noideato20 · 12-04-2009, 11:18 AM

Whymin and believe. Thankyou so much for your thoughts and encouragement yesterday. I felt alot better just knowing you guys had similar things and got through it. The school function went well. I got dressed up and put on my happiest face, and prayed for peace and a sense of forgiveness all the way there. By the time I got there and saw his parents I really did feel peaceful and was able to enjoy watching my son. This is gonna be a long process. Im glad I have somewhere to go for help. Hope the both of you have a wonderful day....

swedish · 12-04-2009, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by noideato20

I wish I were the one that didnt want to be married, I wish I was the one that cheated. It just looks alot easier over there...

I know what you are saying but in reality he is in that lala land fantasy stage with her, which will not last forever AND he stepped out on your marriage and failed to give it a shot with you before moving on...at some point he will come back down to earth and will likely begin to think about all of the hurt he is causing your family...but he's too high in the clouds right now for that. When he gets there, you will be glad you are in your seat vs. his...

I am glad your son's school function went okay...if your kids are visiting with your husband, try to have things planned for yourself so you don't dwell on things.

noideato20 · 12-04-2009, 12:30 PM

Thats great advice swedish to stay busy. Yeah I remember what its like to be in love when thats all you can think about and your hearts going pitter patter. I really have to not dwell on that either, drives me crazy. In a way Im kinda glad that it is the holidays because you stay so busy trying to get all the stuff done you have to get done. Probably need to prepare for a big dose of after holiday blues this year.