Explain why you married him if this is the case.
Really? lol um they are in their 60s darlin, she probably didn't know he was like that until after married.....and people of this generation didn't feel (and often didn't) they had many options when it came to divorce. 33 years ago would have been 1979.
The world was a very different place then. Also, there are many more options available to urban dwellers as opposed to remote rural areas (no public transportation, no social services - often just a church, a grocery store, a jail and a post office(usually IN the one grocery market) Once you were married back then, it wasn't commonplace to divorce AND even moreso in a rural community as opposed to the urban.
Now granted these instances may not be accurate for MrsJay, it was the common feeling in the late 70s that divorce was taboo and LOTS of social stigma surrounded divorce.
I think she was referring to after they married these things reared their ugly heads.
Perhaps now she feels like the world is a different place, and her parents are probably gone so their disdain/scorn/ judgement\disappointment is no longer an issue.....and she doesn't have to live with a "dirty old man" anymore ??
Could be just venting, and she has no real desire to leave him.
I hope the resources I left for her are helpful regardless of what happens.
They have caregiver support services that can give you respite - a break so you can continue being a caregiver, they also have accessibility things that can be done in the home/bathroom should the need arise. If private insurance or medicare doesn't pay for it then they have grants and funding to help with accessibility. If he is a veteran there are also programs implemented to do the same thing..contact the Veterans Administration.