12-13-2009, 11:17 PM
Join Date: Dec 2009
| | Re: Need Help Understanding
It is a really difficult thing that you are going through, believe me I know because my husband is doing exactly the same thing to me at the moment.
I think the problem here is that she is very confused, she doesnt want to loose you but isnt exactly sure how she feels about you or about the relationship. Usually that is a symptom of something much bigger rather than the cause of the problem.
The first thing I would suggest is to stop pooring your heart to her and stop trying to get her to talk to you. She will talk when she is ready but the more you pull and try to bring her close the more she will resist.
At the moment you cannot change how she is feeling and you probably cannot change what she is thinking, because she probably isnt listening to you.
My husband and are were going through this battle for a while and have now started marriage counselling where we can start to unfold the underlying cause behind why he is pulling away from me and why he doesnt feel the same. This is a huge step for him, and maybe it is something you can suggest to your wife, but in due time. Not right now when all she is asking is for space. Make sure you really listen to her rather than doing what you think is best right now, or what you think she should be doing.
Tell her that you love her, that you respect her and that you want to make your marriage work, but that it takes 2 people to work on it. And when she is ready to start talking about things you are there to listen and share.
In the meantime start thinking about what you want, so that you can bring something to the table.