12-22-2009, 10:42 PM
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: SE Wisconsin
| | Re: breaking up after 20 years together
It sounds like he is mentally ill and there really is nothing you can do to help him at this point. Your job is to protect your kids and yourself, and you've done that. He may or may not recover. You have no way of knowing. I encourage you to move on with your life b/c the future is so uncertain. This means finding out who you are now, as a single-mom-with-kids. It does NOT mean, you are free to find a new man. You need lots of time to mourn the loss of the love you had, as though he had died. You need time to adjust to single parenthood. You need time to enjoy all that you discover about yourself and your life once the painful sense of loss has diminished. Of course you will miss him--you love him. But as anyone who has ever lost a loved one for any reason knows: you get past it. You really do. Be gentle and kind to yourself, as though you would be to a friend mourning the loss of her partner. Keep looking for support (here AND in real life). Read and ask people how they get over such a loss. There are many things that help. God bless.