How was your day DS ? Hope things are getting better for you.
Hey there Notaclue, I'm doing okay. It's just another day in paradise. I still have my good days and my bad days, but all in all, I am taking the steps needed to feel good about myself look forward to better things.
I was hit with some horrible news the other day and it had me thinking. I am a professional gourmet chef. I went to culinary school and met a wonderful friend. She and I were like peas and carrots (Forrest Gump terminology). She was always like a baby sister to me. She is much younger than I am, but she was a good driving force to help push me through school. She was always a great friend. Well... during out externships, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She's been a strong fighter and she has flat lined on the table during two separate occasions. Nevertheless, after all these years we have kept in touch. She knows me so well that at times it is almost uncanny.
Well, she moved away from Florida and settled with her family in South Carolina. She wrote me a good bye letter the other day. You see... she was about to undergo surgery. They were going to put her in a coma and do whatever it is that they were going to do. So, before she she had to leave to get rest for this procedure, she and I talked about the good times that we had in culinary school. She laughed and I felt better knowing that there is some healing power in laughter. When she said that she had to go, I didn't want to let her leave, but I knew that I had to.
Her mother has been in contact with me, letting me know how she is doing... and the news isn't so good. These next 24 hours are most critical. There was some internal bleeding and they were able to catch it. So, now she is in the ICU. My friends and I pray alongside her family.
I was thinking... here it is... this 25 year old woman filled with life and so many gifts gave everything she had. Not once did she give up. God knows that she has had every reason to... and there wouldn't be a jury who could convict her if she did. She stayed a true friend to me always honoring our friendship.
When my wife left me, it's almost like she knew... and she called me to see how I was doing. She knows my wife and she was also an associate of my wife. When I've told her that my wife left me, she still found a way to give me encouragement. I didn't know that she was as sick as she was at the time. Again, she found a way to pick me up, dust me off, and set me on the path again. Now, I kinda wish that I didn't do that. I would have liked for her to have had the memory of my wife and I together enjoying the holidays as a family. Instead, she knows that I was hurting and alone.
I try to make her strength my strength. Her pain is surely greater than mine. When I think back on so many of the posts that I have read, I think to myself how selfish these spouses are... and as to how easily they gave up. There are so many others out there making the most out of everyday that they have with their families. They share, cry, and love as one. And yet, here we are able minded with our futures ahead of us, and we do this alone.
I think that everyone should be thankful for the many blessings that we have... for the family that we have left. We have to seek out the positive and the good and build off of that. We have to make the most out of everyday that we have. Time is a commodity that we don't have a lot of. Life is too short to spend it miserable and sad.
Here it is, that I was without my wife during the holidays, and here my friend is possibly celebrating her last with her family. It makes a person think... about the here and the now.
So when I am asked as to how I am doing... my reply is, I'm doing just fine... thank you.