Re: Newly Separated... Again!
I have read over a good amount of postings here on this forum and it just seems that everyone is experiencing some of the exact issues just under slightly different circumstances and environments. Nevertheless, the results are the same. I find great comfort in knowing that my issue is not unique. Thank you to everyone who have read my plight and even more to those who have commented back. Your words have given me strength and have also restored just a tiny bit of my sanity.
Knortoh, I have said the very same thing that you have stated, in where our spouses or significant others mention that they are confused, and yet, they can find the energy and can be lucid enough in their minds to find another place to live and prepare to move out. That is one thing that was also a huge smack in the face. It's all premeditated! How can you tell someone that you love them and sleep beside them, and then tell them, "I'm leaving in three days."?
Sportsman, you and I are obviously encountering the same type of affliction. I feel your pain most since it is most in common to my own. My mother-in-law knew that her husband was cheating on her as well, and yet... continued to stay with her husband. She was aware of his activities because he uses Viagra. She would pick up his prescription for him and count the pills. Whenever she was feeling in the mood she would get his pill for him and she knew that he was missing some even though they weren't intimate during that time. And still, she remains with this individual. My mother-in-law claims to be a spiritual woman... always attending church and claiming to do God's will as well as being a righteous Christian. I'm not too deeply religious of a man, but I have my faith as well. My question was, that if she is such a servant of God and is always the first to bring up what is right and wrong... then explain to me in where the Bible states that no man shall separate what God has brought together? The levels and amount of hypocrisy run deep.
Yes, my wife does seem to be extremely immature at this point. Her actions have clearly set my mind on a different path as in how I feel about marriage. From what I have noticed in with everyone here who is suffering this knife stabbing pain in the chest, is that the other party has not been communicating in the relationship. Communication is a vital part of everyday life and even more so when two people are supposed to be united in marriage. Usually, they want to communicate as they are walking out the door, have already filed the divorce papers, just pick up and leave with a note expressing their thoughts, or tell you that they have found a place and they are moving out within a certain time frame.
How do you know if there is a problem if nothing is talked about? If the communication was there and my wife still wanted to leave, then I could deal with that better because there wouldn't be any confusion and I would have a better idea as to what is going on to cause the separation. I understand that we are all human and mistakes are made. I can live with that. But to be so covert in their feelings and actions is what causes the distrust and pain.
Forgetting would be much easier and so less painful. I choose not to forget, because if I forget the pain, then I am doomed to repeat whatever it was that put me in this situation in the first place.