Ok - here is my post for the day - weird to say the least..
I get up about 8am - get on the pc - I know she is up and on the computer - playing mafia wars.. I'm ok with that - even though I know she is addicted to playing this game, if it makes her happy then fine. So I get my lazy but up about 8:30, make coffee, (we are both coffee addicts), I grab breakfast (yogurt, banana and some granola), eat it in my room, she does not come out of hers. So I eat, get a shower, shave get dressed in an nice pair of jeans and a good sweater.. she is still in her room. So I say - F - it, Im leaving.. So I grab my jacket and walk out. I don't say anything to her. Know realize I have no where to go, so I go to our boat - give it a check since it's cold. Turn off the AC, check the bilges, make sure it's still floating, etc. Waste about 1.5 hrs. Then I come back home - she is in her room, door open on the computer. I turn on the TV, start watching Fox News (sorry if I offend anyone, but the wife and I are both very libertarian/republican, and one thing we have in common is our political views) - low and behold she comes out of her room, sits on the couch across from me and we are discussing politics - had a pretty good time too. I made myself some lunch, offered her some breakfast, which she accepted. She even fell asleep on the couch across from me - I was very happy even if I was being alittle delusional - I even took a picture of her while she slept and I cried, as I knew when she woke up she would be right back in her room.
Well sure as $hit - when she woke up - right to her room, right on the PC to play that f&ck1ng game. So I left again - went out to dinner by myself, had a half dozen drinks or so (I know I shouldn't, but what the h3ll..) I come home, she is still in her room, door open on the pc.. I hate having to do this, acting like I am going out to have fun when all I am doing is going to waste time.. It depresses me soooo much, and I am hurting sooo bad - she doesn't care..
It seems like you are more frustrated with her not even noticing you than you having to find something to do. This is what I am talking about when I say that we have our lives on hold waiting for them to figure out what it is that they want.
I hope that you at least had the chance to watch some football today!
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It is as hard to see one's self as to look backwards without turning around. -Thoreau
Well - I did watch the Green Bay game at the bar - but to be honest, I am not much of a sports fan (I don't mind them ( I do like college football), but I don't watch sports much on TV) - I am more of an educational TV type of guy (I am actually watching a science channel thing right now on the speed of light).. Which is weird to me too - most of my friends (and some of who are divorced) watch football every sunday - no matter what their wives wanted to do - not me.. I would rather go to the beach or go fishing with the wife... all for not
Cpt. Know where your at on this one. Before my h moved I was out of the house so much it didnt even seem like my house. I would just get up and go anywhere and it was like he couldnt care less. This is going to be a real hard time for you. Be gentle with yourself and your liver.lol Just keep on keeping on because the cat is out of the bag now and no matter how nice she is or how much time she spends with you, you know everything has changed and she knows it too. Dont let her work you. Remember this is not new to her at all. Posted via Mobile Device
How ironic... in order for them to think that we have something else going on, we have to lie to them and ourselves. We head out of the home and stay away for long periods of time doing nothing, in which they may think that we are doing something.
Even in doing nothing, we are still guilty of doing something. Huh? Yeah... that's it. Irony is a b**ch.
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It is as hard to see one's self as to look backwards without turning around. -Thoreau
Yeah - it is so strange - half of me just wants to be here with her because I know she wont be here long - but then my brain starts to go to work and I know it is only temporary... so as soon as she does something I don't like it is easier just to leave..
As for my liver - it has been through enough training to handle this I don't get hammered too often now since I do enjoy working out and it hampers that... but at times, putting a good buzz on really helps... like now
How ironic... in order for them to think that we have something else going on, we have to lie to them and ourselves. We head out of the home and stay away for long periods of time doing nothing, in which they may think that we are doing something.
Even in doing nothing, we are still guilty of doing something. Huh? Yeah... that's it. Irony is a b**ch.
As always - your words are sooooo true and 100% correct... Irony is a b1tch!!
Well - I am just all kinds of frustrated right now - I don't know what to do... Should I just tell her to file for divorce? Give up? I hate this living day to day crap - it is killing me... I feel like I cannot move on.
I want so much to just go in her room and just have it out, even though I know this does not do any good.. I am soo hurt and soo angry I cannot even concentrate - it is effecting everything I do or have to do - I can barely even work because she is all that is on my mind... why does this have to be soooo frickin hard???
Hey Cpt, sorry your day did not go well. I wish that I had some words of wisdom for you tonight, but my W is pulling all kinds of BS also. I know in my case she doesn't care, but maybe yours still does ?
The only way is to make some time with her when you both can sit down and talk when you are not so upset. She needs to hear your concerns and what you are feeling, especially if you are about to file for a divorce. It may do no good , but at least she will have one last chance.
NC - You are right - I decided against a confrontation and decided to work out instead.. I think I will need my head to cool for a few days before I decide to have a serious talk with her. I have all but been ignoring her (unless she speaks to me, then I listed attentively and make good eye contact).... She got really pissed at me today because my phone was ringing and I decided not to answer it (It was an old college buddy calling, and I knew it, but I did not tell her) - I am one that always answers my phone (due to my business), but I said to her that I don't need to answer it right now, I will take the call later, I know who it is..
She got upset by that - don't know why... maybe I'm over analyzing.. But after she made dinner and we ate, I went in my room, closed the door and called my buddy back - keeping the conversation low except for the occasional loud laugh... When I came out, she was in her room on the PC - what else is new..
More than likely I am over analyzing and I just need to face the music.. I so don't want to give up, but I can't keep living like this..
You know Cpt, what I can't understand is how a smart woman with a masters in mental health counseling can act like this. She has to know what is happening to your relationship and the strain it is causing ? Maybe she can explain it to you from a mental health professional's standpoint ? I'm not kidding or trying to be flip, I think she should try to use her education to help the situation.
I also think maybe you should break her computer , LOL.
Todays saga - with alittle of yesterday mixed in...
All day today I have been debating with myself whether or not to have a stern discussion with the wife, tell her how hurt I am and push her to either file for the D or lets work it out - her choice (not the smartestof moves I know)...
Yesterday she was at home all day, didn't leave the house. So when I came home, I asked her if she wanted to get out of the house, she said no (I was going to take her to dinner, but she shot me down)..
Today she is online applying for jobs all over the country - I cried most of the day. I really don't want her to go.. and I really don't want a D..
So I come home from work today - low and behold the wife is dressed, sitting on the couch watching fox news! Not on the computer..
Seems she went to target today and picked me up some things - a clothes hamper, saline solution, teeth whitening trays (I made mention a week or two ago that I wanted the trays as the strips suck) - very weird she would do this, but ok I will take nice when I can get it..
So I ask her if she ate, she said no.. so I offer to take her out, she says ok... So we go out, she has a few drinks (I don't), but while we are eating and even before we went out, she says she has a lead on the job and when we get home she needs to rearrange her resume.. I don't say anything, let it just roll off.
So while we were eating she mentions it like 4 more times... so I ask where the job is... it is 1200 miles away.. I very calmly tell her that I don't want her to go. I almost broke down right there... I mean I barely held the tears in and kept my composure... then she says "I know, but there are no jobs here". I say I know that, but I still don't want you to go..
She sits there for a minute, then says "well I am way under-qualified for that job and my chances of getting it are slim to none" Man was I confused... why make such a big deal and then say that?
So we finish eating, drive home. She goes in her room to work on her resume.. but I look at the logs - she is on mafia wars -which I am for once ok with..
We had a good time at dinner, had lots of eye contact, but I dont know how she really feels about me.. and I am too afraid just to ask... I've been in my room trying to work as I have a big meeting tomorrow - but I just cannot stop crying...
I'm so sorry Cpt, don't know what to say. I know how you feel, but in the end you may have to face the fact that she is going to do what she wants. Not that it makes sense or it's right.
Right now I'm still in the denial stage in my heart, but I know the end is near in my mind. It's like a run away freight train that can't be stopped.
Just a thought, but why can't she open her own business in Naples. Whether it's counseling of some kind or something different. If she really wants a challenge she could do that and still stay with you .
Re: Wife is leaving, Im devastated....
