02-03-2010, 12:20 PM
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: United States
| | Re: wife left me day 1
If the average nice guy simply learned to do a small number of things differently - so many marriages would be happy/would not end in divorce:
- Use of a tone of voice with a sharp edge - this is way way better then being loud - the tone is very scary when done right
- Use of simple questions that when answered in a bs way by the female - the man just stares and says NOTHING no matter how long the silence lasts - if she doesn't retract amend eventually he walks away from the conversation
- Use of the question "would you really be ok if I did that to you?"
- Use of limited communication. In an argument where you deadlock, half the time you should holdout until she comes to you and half the time you should initiate the olive branch. It doesn't matter as much who apologizes as long as the conversation is rational and it is clear that she is trying to be fair to you and see your point of view as well.
Originally Posted by Scannerguard
Yeah, Fight Club is another good "guy flick."
The theme in literature is repeated over and over. . .Dr Jeckyll/Mr. Hyde.
The Incredible Hulk. . .the monster that lies dormant in every male - probably the "superhero" I could most identify with.
(My stb-x has learned the David Banner lesson - "Don't make me angry. . .you wouldn't like me when I am angry."
All stories retold with the same theme/moral. There is a dark/necessary side to every human male.
I think "Nice Guys" (this probably deserves a separate thread) sort of are taught if you hold down a job, be a good father, be nice to your wife, be forgiving, that your wife will "reward you" with love/sex/understanding/etc.
It just doesn't work that way unfortunately.
Just like "Good Kirk" who couldn't command the Enterprise. . .I have come to realize that Good Scannerguard was not piloting the relationship well and "the inmate" (my stb-x) was running the assylum. . .thus, I need Bad Scannerguard.
In the end though, Good must subjugate (sp?) the Bad. . .always leaving him just beneath the surface, just slightly tamed, ready to be released. The Good Scannerguard will emerge again.
Well, enough of the philosophical babble. . .back to work, lol. Interesting group of "nice guys" here going through divorce.