Corpus the cut the bait line was a funny ha ha . Im working on cutting the bait myself. Hope your first day in singleville was a good one. Posted via Mobile Device
I did the angry thing. I've come to a realization over the last year about anger. Somewhere along the line many of us were simply taught that anger is 'bad'. Consequently, we tried to eliminate anger instead of experiencing it, and learning how to deal with it appropriately. I'm not making excuses for your ex, merely an observational comment.
I think it goes a long way towards explaining how a thirty or forty something man can pitch a fit like a 5 year old out of nowhere, particularly if this behavior has never been part of his previous repertoire.
I downplayed anger my whole life. The ideas I had about anger was that the emotion was immature, disrespectful, inappropriate, pointless and demonstrated a lack of control. None of those things are correct. However, incorrectly addressed or expressed, anger is all of those things.
I went from 0 to 60 and quite literally, it left my ex terrified. I never, ever, made any kind of threats of violence, but having never seen me angry in 13 years, she didn't know what to do. She felt threatened.
I've written previously about my 'moment' where I realized I had gone too far with my expression of anger. As an adult, I recognized it and made adjustments, hopefully your ex will do the same if he's not a complete knucklehead.
And if he is a knucklehead, remember you get to be angry too - and let him know it.
My H has a new cell phone. No more snooping around our cell logs! Ha. I really semi quit doing that anyway but I welcome the lack of information, at this point.
I went to lunch with his lovely parents. It's sad..how they miss me. Of course, they love their son but don't understand his behavior. Not one family members supports his behavior but they love him. As I do. We don't talk about him anymore-his parents that is...other than a mention of history "remember when."
My D and I had a wonderful weekend, just us. She and I are close and I am very open with her in regards to the changes that are upcoming. I have been angry in regards to my H not sharing ANYTHING with her-just fun stuff. I've told her my budget is different than before. What the plans are for moving and what details there are in finding a house. She's 15 and wants to know but doesn't want to step on our toes by asking.
On anothe topic, I feel that there is an imaginary race with my husband. Not entirely urgent but somehow in the back of my mind. The race to begin dating. I don't want to be left behind but I am afraid to go the distance. Not fear of dating but fear of rejection.
I know that I'll deal with it as it comes, but I am being honest now. I feel like I am being thrown in the pit.
My H or ex H has had time to think of all of the good qualities of single life-better, more fun and sex; a fresh start; new people who think you are great. I don't think of single life as being better but maybe in the sense of better than the last year!
CW, just remember even when you start dating to make yourself happy and not rely on whomever else. I sense more happiness in you now -- don't let it go.
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Kindness, Caring, Love and Understanding for Me, for Her and my son. Well not so much for Her anymore.
You've already beat him- you have emotional honesty and self-awareness. Maybe that's a harsh judgement on my part but I think he's an idiot for letting you go. So, there!
FA: Thanks...I'll remember that but I've learned my lesson regarding happiness and finding it within. It's my H that needs to learn that lesson.
WREN: You are such a lovely cheerleader! Thank you. It's not harsh when it's the truth. Many folks think that's the case that know him. I've been ahead in the game for along time.
Been thinking of you Corpus! Its strange when I don't even know you in person!! I pray for you at night and I hope that the pain eases for you a little everyday. And yes I agree with Wren, I really don't get your exH...really don't understand why he let you go but I will say you are doing great and remember:
The Lord doesn't take us through deep water to drown us
rather to develop us.
Re: The Real World cont....after the divorce.
See that everything comes around..
