The other "Real World" thread was focused on my separation and divorce. I appreciate every poster that has listened and given me advice along the way. Most have boosted my spirits along the way, during the darkest of my days. Thank you all.
For those of you that don't want to take the time to read the other thread. My husband and I are newly divorced after 25 years of marriage. I fought hard for 15 months-6 separated but I fought alone. I didn't want this divorce but he was no longer "in love" with me. He sent me mixed messages along the way.
I'll forever have a connection with him. We have a history of youth, adolescence, adulthood, children, and many firsts. He will never have the same history with anyone else.
He's a good man. A person that you would like to meet. He just didn't want me anymore. I realize, in my head, that most of the issues were related to some midlife crisis and/or depression. However, there is nothing for me to do. I can't fix him. I pray that he fixes himself.
My new journey begins. I am a blessed girl. Someone who has been through the fire and continues moving forward with a new life. God has been present in my life and will continue to be my guidance. I have much learning to do.
My first full day of officially single is today. My heart, at this point, is still married.
You go girl, good luck with your new life,
You and I have the same story, I'm 23 years married but my hubby had an affair to end the deal as well as the don't love you any more story.
You did everything you could do and I totally understand the one sided thing, I also never wanted to end my marriage.
We are fixer by nature and I think women just have a special gift to not be quitters.
You can't do it alone and I think we both realize that now.
Be free, I just watched Jim Carey's Yes Man where he just said yes to everything, which opened up new opportunities for him and eventually meet the woman of his dreams, I'm going to adopt a little of that theory and see what happens(within reason haha1)
Keep smiling......hugs
Hey there CW, glad that you've made it through that book and experience unscathed. Now you can really move on and since this is behind you, you can turn your focus to other things. Life your life girl!!
thank you for sharing from the start! how sad it has been and now moving on for yourself!
you are a wonderful person, a strong wise woman! im sure great things are in your future! hugs!
__________________
loving mother and devoted wife, I will endure this pain with the faith, hope and love i have for my family!
I hope that each and everyday is a little bit easier for you CW. The fight was long and the battle was hard. Now, a little reflection and direction is in order. Have a glass of wine and enjoy yourself. Live your life.
Yesterday was interesting and truly showed my H's lack of coping skills and anger.
He was trying to get the money to me. Should be easy-wire it or hand me a check. In order to "take care of me" he ends up going to 4 banks and very frustrated as he wasn't getting his way on certain matters. Ones that I didn't care about now or never requested that he take care.
At the end of the conversation, made from the bank, he says "they are lucky that I don't have a gun." Woooooah! I calmly told him "to calm down. I appreciate you help. You started saying things like that in a bank and you are going to be arrested."
Ends up the bank pres. of another branch calls him and apologizes. She heard about his "fit" in another branch. It's also a client of his...She is willing to push through whatever he wants but needs my approval. I called her and explained that he wasn't appropriate and I was going to stick to how they normally did things. I thanked her.
He's an angry guy my H. The man I knew wasn't like this...the old H. The man of the last 1.5 years is so angry. My friend said...my H was probably angry before that time, but it was kept inside. I agree.
Part of my process, over time, is to heal. I wake up in a strange world alone. It will take some getting used to this singleton.
I would imagine that you think of everything differently. Instead of what would be best for the two of you or the family you think about what you want more. Your days are filled with what YOU want and not what is best. Should be an exciting nervous time. Enjoy some of you time..
__________________
If you choose to live with a crazy person what does that make you?
The Real World cont....after the divorce.
